It isn't at all about the arrangement of atoms and light.

It is about people.

And our desires and self control and willpower and benevolence .

I guess 

i hope

i pray to You

I put faith in You, Father, Son, Holy Ghost

I worship You. 

Thank you. 

Ameen.

 I can only try twice.

Talk with the Faces of God

 Talk with the faces of God.

Ten thousand one other souls

A Time of possums

Crafting 

Craftspeople

Drafting 

Blueprints of understanding

Humans crapping on the substantial being

Karen does her job ,

Moves items for sale in a shop.

Step

A city, town and village 

IslandLife

School Fed

.

How can we be perfect?

I will be good enough. 

I might as well try.

' Reasons ' to overthink

.

Monopolies of manufacturing and agriculture

Do we what will

Why do I think some things are difficult?

Why do I ever think I don't care about anything?

Every conscious person always cares about something.

I've known since high school, I must read important documents and Good books.

I must practice science

To understand

( Best Practice )

To improve human lives

By creating things, places, systems and situations 

Full of health, sustainability, 

To expand Mind.

Why exactly would I be just Jesus Christ?

Good question 

I wonder what my life could have been.

Nothing is inevitable

All is Will

 In him

Worry I dropt something 

 Is my reasons and no longer anything

God.

Validity and boring boringness 

The one hand washes itself.

 I am always up Early

Because I feel like god.

When you call a mother Distracted, 

She does not know to choose

Taboo of being two people 

Because 

After all the times i told myself, i find myself absolutely inextricably Human again

  What is a good test?

Swimming hot tub and pools

Corpus, Padre, Full moon palm.

High hi.

  I will count to 100,

Think of everything I've ever done wrong

Then everything I can ever do good from now on. 

When is The last time?

Why did we get a new TV?

The moon keeps rising, 

the moon keeps rising 

I can do cartwheels:

Doing cartwheels also

Means doing Cartwheels. 

Yodeling freedom train

It's an American success story. 

Blatantly ignoring family 

Suffering takes a way of life

Most cannot stomach or believe. 

Show me your personhood.

I am flat out menage a trois 

With a hope and belief. 

Amputate.

Derive the certainty syllable,

One in a vajillion,

I take it

You deliberate 

Sanctity of Skin

Knows 

Eyethroat 

Beg the Decency

From blossoming choices...

Comfort care for the sick and injured. 

Worship

 

God is a warship,

Silent Retreat. 

Colossal mistake, 

Baby meat

Private Mary 1st class

Jesus can you knock

My bleeding mercy

Knowledge in the 5th

Roundabout Personhood.

Saviour complex

Bursted open alien

Functionality. 

Time Father 

Granted

Ape sanctuary, 

Blessed forgetful 

Seed money memory 

Appliance design

App on your phone

Tells We don't 

Municipal dungeon 

Makeout warriorslave 

, sane Angel, burning 

Questions, flavors 

Of the Day.

Popularity and Hair

 Music and defensiveness

I'll try not to kill meself everyday 

Any more

The More of Anny

.

Wild  Wooly  Cool  Womean

Beauty Loving

Beauty like love is a miracle.

They are verbs and actions.

Even if loving of the self

,

A woman chopping firewood

,

She survives to benefit humanity.

Chase her vibes.

Athletic meaningful dances

The care for self , the selfless axe

Acts of love

Homeless shelters

Soup kitchens

The end of anything....

Body Spoken

 I got a thousand minds;

My mind ain't one .

Gimme All You Got

 Aaron and I send texts and Links.

Give me life. Give me Love.

I deserve nothing. I deserve everything.

Let us play at the Limits.

Get drunk with Children. So what?

What should I be?

Don't you see me,

You don't know what to be.

Magnificence, 

Dawn, first floor breakfast room, glass wall views of the boardwalk, beach and sea.

January Ocean -

   Teenager in a Wetsuit .

Give me all you got.

All you got.

Think I want to Be with You.

https://newgirlybelong.blogspot.com/2025/01/class-divide-poem.html?m=1

 

Summer days

fall off the roof of the project. 

Releasing the moon from the cage

Which we build to confine the mind

To stop the learning of Friends

And the Sun, who are dead and

Growing Old.

So in the name of receiving

What God takes.

- -

Open the crates ,

Free the cranes.

African Nature 

Speechless midwest zoo people.

Jack and Sue Hanna

Cbsabcnbc , Saturday morning vacation coast Into the wild

I Didn't Get 

To Pinch My

Uncle's Face Yet.

1 Bed Beach Club Condo Wake

I'm a cocoon. I'm a butterfly. 

How can 1 be both?

I'm a human. I'm a God's mirror. 

Might be a million,

I may be 1 Million People. 

Correct Predictions: 2050

1.  Some human will write a sequel to a list of predictions. 
2.  A girl will be born.
3. The sun will be brighter. 
4. For every eleven doctors, there will be more than one nurse.
5. I will be dead, within 25 years. 
6. More than one prediction will be correct. 
7. One business will make more profit that last year.
8. Three non-profits will survive more than one year. 
9. There will be a new planet.
10. There will be failed and successful space missions.
11. Ten people will live more than 100 years in a row.
12. Less burgers will be eaten.
13. Less cows will be born.
14. Someone under 3 will write a book.

The End

Why are you sounds?

I was awake before.

Trust me I can be, Everything.

...

The Mother Of All

Photosynthesizer

 We can't breathe or eat

Without photosynthesizers

.

Taking care of ourselves is taking care of ecosystems. 

Photos

Physical copies

Humanmade Light

DJs , turntables , palm trees , ferns , grasslands , corn fields , deep woods

Web sites

   Thorax Fixations

Dream Words

 True Virtues

   Real   Life

Re views

 Somebody Somewhere

Gives me a humanist existentialism 

We each live unique lives, shifting paths

Sands and hands

Times rhymes lime teeth feet

No one everyone, beginning end

Okay , same to me ,

Thanks

- g d w

So many of us in this universe

Just one to putup

" she brought me home .. "

Thanks for leaving me here to die.

The End

The crank, the chain

The position, the angle

The flea, the flight 

 It is just like time,

Just like fading into eternity.

Fade to Yellow 

Ko op radio

And I am and I sleeppp 

Watching and believing 

SUNDAY AFTERNOON DOOGER - 05 January 2025

Thess

Fractal Bean

What does that mean?

Where does that come from?

The End

I check my mailbox again.

I spent the military budget on the homeless .... fields of wheat and books about Communism.

I just watched the Sci Show Tangents 

episode Randomness 

As I took that photo

Ceri said Snapshot.

As Hank said, 

This is not about How things Are

It is about Things happening 

.

My mother's basement is an apartment thirty miles away.

The noon becomes the day,

Becomes the afternoon, becomes the hay

That we used to fertilize the cows' drinking water.

Barbecue Wrap

I am wearing a bracelet of orange stones.

It means I love you please stay

   Is the name of the rock band who sold out to kill Dead Insects.

Arbitrary in Love

Arbitrarily in Love

Arbitrary and in Love 

Scenic scene of wastefulness

I am trying to create alternative cosmoses.

Refugee crisis

 I wish I would be like people I admire. I can just sleep and eat healthy food. I have no idea why I am this way.

Nothing lasts long, but that also means our whole lives, so things are difficult. I don't know how to do things... I guess

[1/8, 05:09] CTL Bub:

 Thank you for sharing with me.

[1/8, 05:10] CTL Bub: 

Are there any activities that tend to help you feel calmer or distract yourself from your thoughts when you feel this way?

[1/8, 05:11] Gregory Wredberg: Asmr and other youtubers. Just searfing the web, probably

.

...

An End.

P. S.

[1/8, 05:13] Gregory Wredberg: I should shower or bath first. And take a short walk.

[1/8, 05:13] CTL Bub: Those are also really good strategies

[1/8, 05:14] Gregory Wredberg: I don't know if I want anything. I want to know what I should do.

[1/8, 05:14] CTL Bub: Let's make a plan, how does that sound?

[1/8, 05:15] Gregory Wredberg: Good ideas

https://goodenoughtoknow.blogspot.com/2025/01/good-ideas.html?m=1

Please help. How should I go to sleep? And how to live? My guess is we are eternal. We should figure something out.

The Planet Planet in the Place of Space

 just talked with Susie, Laura. I don't know what to do. Thanks anyway. .. I feel kinda empty I guess. Kinda frozen and sad. I fear no one really knows anything. 

I eat a salad of green and red.

I eat raw animals. 

I walk to rivers and drink the best water ever.

I wake up in Every one.

They send me glad newses. 

They are the newest people on the Planet in Space.

They eat lava lizards. 

They take breath naps.

We heap groves on metal hills. 

We grab technologies and twist realities. 

We eat fake bodies. 

We grow life anew again for the last and third time.

Bye.

You can now hope.

You are sweet and fun.

You eat live love.

You made all of it

Susie, on a text help line

 God be with you. You are the best. Thanks for being you, letting us be us, loving us. God bless.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XdNve_bDk1Q&list=PLYsch6i6d4gS3t1xaGTX0eLs0UQFGtyIv&pp=iAQB

I crashed around sunset and woke at midnight and drank coffee. I have no plans. I don't know what to do. 

God bless you.

Keep me

Take care

Same

Thanks for Everything Susie. I don't know the biggest problem. I don't know why everyone who can help people directly, doesn't. I wonder why it is so difficult and people hurt each other and themselves.

It all hurts and confuses.

It is infinite 

And God 

and something 

Helpful. 

I just talked with Susie, Laura. I don't know what to do. Thanks anyway. .. I feel kinda empty I guess. Kinda frozen and sad. I fear no one really knows anything. 

I eat a salad of green and red.

I eat raw animals. 

I walk to rivers and drink the best water ever.

I wake up in Every one.

They send me glad newses. 

They are the newest people on the Planet in Space.

They eat lava lizards. 

They take breath naps.

We heap groves on metal hills. 

We grab technologies and twist realities. 

We eat fake bodies. 

We grow life anew again for the last and third time.

Bye.

You can now hope.

You are sweet and fun.

You eat live love.

You made all of it

Good Ideas

 ?

Why is life like this

We must

Be alive and painful and dead.

 We are bodies

Adams and thoughts.

- - - I do not know how to talk to

You.          - - - ! * this.

Here

So we procreate babies burst out of people.

Blood and guts and broken bones and fucked up organs,

Plus

We use each other for immediate relief . . .

We are evil.

And we imagine almost anything

 is true.

We would like more doctors, nurses, Researchers scientists and infrastructure builders and coders computer

 you're engineers .

How do we control our minds lands and bodies

?

 I will take you

 Take care.

 The end.

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 What’s your crisis?

02:29am

Hi. I am nervous. I haven't slept well this year. I just scheduled a call with integral care in Austin Texas, hoping to gtalk

02:30am

Thanks for sharing. It might take a moment to assign you someone.

02:30am

..alk with an inperson therapist,

02:31am

I think I need medication to function in this world at the moment. I do not have enough self control.

02:32am

Sorry about my disjointed message. I did not think The return button is also a Send.

02:33am

Sorry that I think I need your help right now, I guess I am lonely or afraid, of myself or God or something,.. sorry. I hope whoever reads this is well.

02:34am

Sorry if I say sorry too much and it bothers you. This is part of my problem with self control. I feel shame about almost everything. It is most difficult to be honest. I have never really opened up to nor fully connected with anyone. Maybe that's impossible, anyway.

02:37am

Type your message here

Maybe what I say is not really true anyway. - 

sent at 240

Use this box to compose your message

Nikki. Hi... I thank You 4 talking. And thank you for anyone and everyone you ever help in any way, whether u eva know it or not

02:47am

Type your message here

Use this box to compose your message

   0 2.   4.   8

The End

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EiSJkTMZr7A

Asmr Eliza :

THE Lady Bird

British

Ladybug 

02:49

We're seeing high volume right now. While waiting, some people find a breathing exercise helpful. Give it a try here: https://bit.ly/breath_ref. Text STOP to end this convo for now.

02:57am

Please help. How should I go to sleep? And how to live? My guess is we are eternal. We should figure something out.

3:15

Allways

I, the Maid of Infinite Surprises

 I, the Maid of Infinite Surprises,

Do solemnly accept your marriage 

Through the toilet paper tube hole ,

Brown cardboard In the biggest waste dump on the planet Earth, 

Brazil, Younited State of America, am I 

Sorry?, table salt,

You, the Practical Smoocher,

Alone on Desert Islands with bamboo

and bamboozled baboons Wasting 

Bananas, TV Screen survivors, All

Wanted and ppreciated .

Safe town takes protective measures

And Headlines Music Scrunchies

This Little 5-Year-Old Says

Mucus of the brain,

Brian The End.

Hi, Hi.

 I have to make a song.

Question irrelevance?

Bloomberg is only seven quarters.

I got A song, cause my face was a quietly wrong person.

In boston massachusetts the retailer succumbs to the realtor.

In three twenty two at the time it happens, and I could good decide.

They all do question it, it supersedes one second.

As a creator the interesting cosmos of dialogue

Punishment for a shock of a car dealing dog

School let the air out of a possum's eyeball

These were the ones at the ballet it seemed

To be fun the Fall

I ask willingly

Proper conceptual consent

Hypothetical.

Indistinct appropriation

Forgive trusting solopsists

Rewriting engraved Shopping lists

Hi

Thend

 Thanks for asking questions. We need healthy livable conditions. We need tools and systems, infrastructure. We need to work and plan with each other to help people get healthier and live to our full potential. The end...

Probably No one can make me                                         happier ,

Dexbonus Brooke Throne

https://www.instagram.com/dexbonus/reel/Cz9IhJ7Nf0R/?hl=en

The End

Is talking to Anyone with or without a voice?

You are perfectly dry.

Want Be Do

 I want to live forever and I want to kill myselfe

Everyone is proof that consciousness is eternal.

I want to do nothing , be nothing , want nothing . gg

Is there a difference

I can save your life

I can make bread for a kid

I can grow an apple

I can build a bedroom

I can make your toes warm and comfortable

I can eat stars in the planets

I can sweat in my crack

I can blow bubbles on the window pane

I know a guy who loves my body because of jesus christ

I know god personally ; They are sitting in my guts

Ten thousand euro tree

Years old

You're so old.

I am believing

I am a trust machine

I am a liquidated economy of cherished beings

They all get what we want

the shape of sunny

Blooming Funny Shackle Meaning Coercive 

I wrote a book in a movie.

They built a shed and in it is the fine tool

Sweat water and leave the control

Pineapple Heart disease

Quiet winter left over death

One more is enough

Messenger preacher mother friend mouse page

 

Hello i'm still alone.

Cave my eyes from your fires

Hello i'm just a moan

In the time when I was filled with no desires.

I was a cold white tryangle on the pussy foot

The cold man takes his      [[texas]]       understanding too far

The stove is looking for a messenger bottle

He takes his rice hand and

Puts my holy God through hell

A Sunday morning Preacher gives my cremated mother a hand out.

Now my interested friend is opening his wonder mouth

A mouse takes his time and lands on the front page

Good night.

 epistemically  --   -      -  infinite. .  Black holes .   .    .      End o' Time.        .Relationship.

" Heh【: exactly. I'm just starting to think that everything, mostly relationships and trying to know ourselves, is puzzles for us designed by God. Love Glen 

- to Aaron. 

But I was too embarrassed to send it.

At almost midnight 

Why illogic?

God is my friend. 

Go Gone Goings 

I eat fishy friends.

The light decides comically 

Compression    Interventions

Fifteen letters

Seventeen Letters

I love You 

I love You 

And you .

. . .

The End 

That was a good song.

I was a show. tame The shrew with 2 bucks. They run through you like a .. tall bus .. Toll Booth man operating his own life in a trial-and-error Situation of comedy. push the button down on the stove Top ; it gets liquidated as a crop top mop top Duo of the South, American life. Give them a trial-free trophy for being your wife.  Stove pipes. Give all of our time to a lord's Giving children opportunities to live on the shores of , Eva Gemma , iwojima and Nantucket, Boston, Massachusetts, eating lobsters and cooking dry fish cakes for tourists leaving tips, 10,000 nickels on the bar. Kiss the lady who ask for more. gave her a stove. And ate all her  chores. Heard. I want to live with a Mexican band, every person who owns no land.  Have a party with the coal miner's Son .. (Omaha). Have a bucket of fun with the Sun. You know is. Eat all the children's money. And have a son with a woman or a guy have all the time in the world and live. Wish you were me and I wish I were you.  Coal Mining is fun for a minute or 2. Have you gotten your recipe Book filled out to submit to the local economy? Cool, cool post-African love I tried to begin again.  Listen and open my eyes. And the truth will caress a trojan-uary warrior, A Chinese life boat.  life preserver, Give us all the things that we order. Forecast the meaningful bit of your life.  To show us how we can hope again 

the end

Human Person Journal

 

I look around and wonder how humans did all this,

Factories, tools, corporations, years. 

They pull raw metals from mines in Earth.

Blacksmithing is far away from

Computers, skyscrapers, Google fiber, space stations 

. . . .

Layer of Christianity

 Emergency of other emergencies ,

Axiomatic misunderestimation

Talk to the end with a middle.

The sex eats like a mouth

Putting Stuff in .

How many people have you had sex with?

Me, 1.

I've had direct sexual experiences with 3 people. 

And indirect with 3 others.

 I've kissed 4 people.

Last year I hired a prostitute twice.

I texted her a lot. I said I think I really love you.

She said I don't think you know what love is.

I said she is correct.

We often ignore instincts.

Maybe we should.

Experiments of Time

          ( Give Me Bad 4 No Reason )

I shouldwatchJoePeraandTheRehearsal.

I have 2 or 3 cats, wood and fur    [1 and 4]

Placable apartment floor, fiber, bored

carpet _ Feeler.     She makes ivory coffing,

Hallelulah, hello, hi, i'm gone now, then bye.

I like how people think; they move

mouths and fingers, use tools, fake forget.

Talking to solve Purpose

Entertaining flooded feet puss, Blood in

       Toilet, Have a fact, imperfect eternaliTy.

Save our faces, we know not, silent

    innocence, blue stages

    African home body, Careful Wake

    Insane Prolific

 A cat shakes a heard of beasts

 

Interested internet of wild hope

Piss off science doo hicky challenge rope

Pine scenic drive south of taste Death

Range awful bananas ;; I tiredly tried folks' names on Dates ....

I look around and wonder how humans did all this,

Factories, tools, corporations, years. 

They pull raw metals from mines in Earth.

Blacksmithing is far away from

Computers, skyscrapers, Google fiber, space stations 

. . . .

From a Past

 I saw blood and soft

Sunlight off

Safety in sight thinking mind thank you start

 I was sad because I was not he

Not me.

Sound that looks like you look at

Breaststroke through

 Ambiguous space

 Save the Kitchen.

Friend 1, friend 2

Mistakes convent - yellow pole

Run out, come back, 

Redact, finite Break, spin

Late, I imagine I am surfing 

On a line Scuba is Your velocity 

Intricate lathe positioning

But sand flights, 

Gregory resets a normal life 

Habitual stances, lying-

Shave shape interpersonal 

Connection Judgment 

- "

Bottom to Top

The bottom half of the body blew up.

How could they purvey irreconcilable hurt and

distant okayness?

Thank You, Star.

We invent the feeling of

ignoring the pain.

No one is quite as absent.

No legs, no sex, no bowels,

No problems -

Easy as a pie and cake fixing fingernail beds

To the red

Bottom of the lake bed,

A scratch draws a thin streak and droplet

With her cat

Spine lost, Forgiven nerves.

We sent taken gifts,

Squoze them in our fists,

Released options, hot gulp -

In us as sensory vehicle forms of doing us.

A party schooner acrobats larger bodies in,

Gone for Good, time told seamen spelled. ...

Big Believer

 I'm a big believer,

In time I trust God will have spoken for me.

I watched some The Rehearsal.

I was amazed.

Present religion and parenthood

I don't know what to do.

Are you better off now than you were?

Are you still reaching for a cause for effect?

Sanities are like lightning bolts: they grow up when they don't support. 

Why are people this invested in material comfort?

Why are not people more invested in spiritual growth?

 Human:" not one.

I am an actual astronaut,

So I need a break from eating Kit Kats all day.

I am a slow burning angel,

Because I am real ready when I feel things.

I was a bear taking a lap;

Now I will find a shed to nap on.

 I am the same Bucket. 

Follow a climbing chair,

Because why am I showing you a Blunt object for most things?

Popsicle tribe, take the gun and shint.

I want a factor in the bottom of a shoe that fits the face of the religious icon making food for little women.

So the diet newspaper has the focal point,

In an icy age of flow states, Mister pope‐sicle drives a stack of children stories.

That wants to be the end,

Yes of course I do not want to be stupid.

People talk about me in the third person.

I talk about a girl and a woman and a highway and a House..

What happens at the trust of a bear

With simple collection Fonts.

         _ y _ _

Poems are good for some.

Are you bloody?

I watch a clock change, 03:33, 03:34.

03:35.

Faith

Grace

Horniness

Sex, sex, sex

Sorry

Tuberculosis

Architecture 

Time

Father

Art

Feelings

Look up the son to the word

Bye to now.

Friend to the end

 I gotta write. I journal. 

My mom and I just watched episode 1 of Canal Boat Diaries.

I like it a lot. I am nervous about talking with Aaron tomorrow morning. At least we will be walking. 

I have been writing my board game idea, Kung Foo Trouble. 

It is dumb and almost nonsense,

Though not as much as magic : the gathering.

 I like my mom's house. My apartment is weird. It's a bit small. 

And I am debased. I debase myself.

I make little sense. I don't communicate well.

I have not slept well since staying up past midnight on the New Year.

I am looking forward to going to the beach, North Padre Island, next Friday. 

And going to Denmark, Sweden and Norway in four months. 

I am afraid of Aaron,

Maybe because I am afraid of God.

I should be the best version of myself. I don't know what that means.

I think I should probably marry a woman and adopt and foster children.

I should be exactly like Jesus the Christian...

Blogger.com and the desire to be like if you fight with you soon but I get distracted and I don't want it is almost lonely and I'm gonna eat it and see a big sun like that,  I should Help me out with Jen or something that will be as good for her to be a decent life as possible bests and then the first five years in the world is the existence of anything  outside, ♥️ .

The End

We also watched season 2 episode 1 of Somebody Somewhere. 

I love it

Them.

Eliza personality answers

 0

-

Pet

Yellow

Soft

Bone

No one

Fortune

Grassss

Health

ice

Notes

Naughty

Personality

Father

Squid

Daytime

Quick

Chat , cat

Wealthy

Winter

Phone

Nice.

A dog, medium, black white longhair, a guy taking it for walk on a golf course by a community college, rolls in grass.

I could kill and eat it. The dog seems fun or funny. I sit in my car watching it.

-

In South Eastern Australia, I am by a lagoon, a large waterfall and a river flowing into the ocean, huge plants and trees everywhere. You are beside me, wearing a small hide tunic. It is 22 degrees, partly cloudy, cool and warm breezes. I feel sleepy and blissful. I can barely move.

We walk on a path to the beach. It is hard dirt and clay. It is windy. It is clear. 

On the beach side is one of those rainbow bark trees. It is 100 feet tall and wide, 1,000 branches. It is the first day of spring. The leaves are the deepest green, We can still see the sky.

We are in a rowboat by the beach, calm clear water, little waves, smallish fishes. There are 2 oars in the boat, we use an 8 foot pole to move the boat. We are together. 

We relax, looking up and forward.

I imagine your bedroom door, white. It is a standard bedroom door with a knob, locks on the inside, no keyhole. I always want to go to wherever you are... I can see it behind you.

-

Choices,

Best for all people. 

 She is my netflix subscription

Waking in dry clouds, Making up pieces of crumbling drifting juicy Cheeses

.. jesus.

At the end of the rope,

Quinine filled festivals of aging gusty Giraffe.

Perfect 

----

A new year 2525

 God bless us God bless us.God bless us

God loves god loves god loves you

Give me.

 Jesus, my favorite

Fucking christ.

That's what I was saying....

It's all kosher. 

I am about to die.

I do not care if I sleep.

Even when millions of people are being raped and tortured and killed carelessly for fun,

I feel

The infinite love and hope of God,

Good dudes ..

Deeds...

Does Sheesh

Come from Jesus?

The End

Perspire Magnanimously , A One Thousand Page Book

Transpire in gifted goulashes. 

Wear the outside on every day.

Not yearning, not proper, Not Alone

Ai, prompts

 Ten beautiful in love dancing outside 

And

Ten of spiritual every people in love all of everywhere 

Ten beautiful in love dancing outside 

In seven stars line 

Making four babies doing nothing never

One slake out for tye time senses drop too.

Shhh...ut up.

Title of a movie or something 

Speaking , not sleeping before she is awake.

The blown tire, the cloak of fire,

The wind takes all the time it gives, 

And the deserty wild populates the fridges.

 Why am I things?

Why am I not things?

What are things, and why do they mean anything?

Hear the end,

Feel the end, 

Look the end.

Never is the end of freedom.

It is not the end, the end, the end.

We saw Nosferatu on Christmas Day 2,024.

 December 21st ,

God, make me die, however you want.

Of course, you know

What to do, You do

What I am to do

Given me all my mind...

God is a trillion years old.

God is a lonely child. 

 I should choose to be something.

I choose to be what I should be.

Jounal

  I'm watching Pewdiepie's latest vlog.

     The ideals of the few

Try to be sane and healthy

Safe and Stable

Murder is in the world.

We put on clothes and blinders.

We decorate our cities and our homes

We ignore most other people

We try to find a piece of our own peace

This is life at this moment

hear

What is Nativity ?

I ask you

And tube .

We are sane and healthy.

The wedding banquet with Christ and his bride, Humanity

Limitless Love , understanding and wisdom 

Do nothing.

Yes, I have got coffee, sorry.

It's all good.

All I can do is forgive you.

End

Creed

  Christian beings are

Only and always

Giving unconditional Support, Love and acceptance. 

The orthodox way is

Focussing on

Essentials, basic meaning,

Simple, elegant, beautiful, sensible

Complex, real, effective .

The examples of Jesus

And the Saints

The End

 I feel like I am absolutely explodin -

Gredients 

Greedy ENTS

I will start watching the fig grim making out

I make out with Fay Grim and Bebe

I am hell hardly and henry full

Hal hartley

Fool

I am using the voice to text so it's ... funny [:

I said I " started watching ", but it says I "will start " up there...

The making of

I was texting with Aaron :

Wow.. They are always revealing in the flow of connections and insights. Is there 1 insight that the rest come from? 

Diamonds and Fangs

        The History of Cheer and Leading

.

 This is about america

The land , the people

I saw an interesting video of a guy explaining the colonial origin of palestine

But I think he missed part of the solidarity and the identification with history and place

He missed Israel's cruelty , The corruption of the West and its exploitation of the rest

I like how he gave agency to the people living on this ancient civilized land.

This is about the difficulties of growing up

And the horror and the exuberant define transcendence

The compelling allure

The awesomeness

Being a human at the turn of the twenty first century

The technologies , the vapidness and rapidness

The way people forget and let themselves float, drift or drown.

The way people are expressions of God's love no matter what happens.

There is an order and a blueprint. The Trinity has written and will always be writing the most beautiful, comprehensive and inclusive story possible.

We are specific and a focused attempt

We use each other and we abuse what can be abused

We waste time and we make up time

We have control and we make everything better

We stub our toes , we take too big of a risk and fall and must convalesce , and our minds will heal each other .

We make artwork that reveals a mystery within us and without us.

We work on our thoughts and talk to each other to build a community of Minds that live , the same as our biologies Put together things and Buildings and places to gather and share things , like books and meals and song.

They are high schoolers 

 they have music

They are wizards

  They make games

They are actors

They have sex and tears and laughter

We are parents

We are children

We are farmers

We all eat and kill

We Write a stories With our actions and our openness

The vulnerability lets God in and out

We trust each other

We love each other

How can we go to thedge of eternity ?

How is it to meet god eternallee?

That's good for now.

  I wondered what I should do then I remembered reading.

It seems like i'm afraid to read.

I guess i'm just lazy and other sins.

I need a fear of god.

I need to do the right and difficult thing.

 

https://newgirlybelong.blogspot.com/2024/12/must-embrace-the-pain-of-knowing-of-not.html

Sickness transformed me

I need something to compare me to

I need to fix my addictions

God is the only anything needs .

God R 3

?

              Vegetables

Fall 

         in

We must embrace the pain of knowing and not knowing, of changing, Of not changing, Of hoping Beyond Hope.

We thank you for revealing us

Ameen [watched Fay Grim tonight]

 What are You doing in me?

-- how am I myself, while You are omnipresent and omnipotent? --

You create the best possible World (Kingdom).

Is it always possible and always real?

You can do anything. You don't do everything. 

You Give me every opportunity, the best possible choices. 

We sincerely do what we think....

We are an instance of the cosmos, so more than thoughts, Mind.

We are Your co-creation -

Implicit, complicit, explicit,

Explanitive, complaintive (complaintiff) -

I can never be sure. Can i?

You are sure that I am sure that You Are.

Thanks

I love U

4 Eva 

,"(#&@(@[@,

G kao^#[@_>÷_÷*#^>#>>÷&=;-?

Ingracious --

Willing-complete

Uioae 

Understand. Invest-I-gate. Open. Anticipate. Explane.

Ameen

I Used This App Called Life Objectives

 https://newgirlybelong.blogspot.com/2024/12/blog-post.html?m=1

My God

 My God is my God my God is my God 

God god God 

Where did I go? Where am I now? 

There He is, Jesus Christ.

You are a great person and a cool dad.

We must abide by the rules or die without sufficient knowledge to live forever.

Ai therapy, Wysa

 

 I think I need something

To make myself feel something like I can focus on.

To cope

So that I may

So I took a nyquil pill.

Things.

Why did I forget again?

Because something else was more immediate.

Then something else again.

And something else ...

Beyond the endless

In me

.

Predawn, 14-11-2024

 Shut up and dance with me. Is the title of this thing? I am walking around my mom's house. It's just after 6 AM. And the Sun will come up in a little bit. And I wish I could travel the world. I wanna live in Townsville, Australia for a little while.  I am hiding on the South side of my mom's house, walking on the paving stones? If that's what they're called. the Stone Path the pathway, the walkway. I don't know what to call the squares. Bricks of red rocks. And I think I want a million dollars because, I could do whatever I wanted to do, if I could pay for whatever I wanted to do. If I if I didn't have to work for to pay rent, if I could live for free kind of. .. good , have all the food and shelter and comforts and amenities that I wish for.  And then I can have an infinite free time Almost. And I would travel the world and probably buy a prostitute or 2. Or would try to be more intimate with the prostitute I had sex with twice in February this year.  Her name is Billy. It's the name she gave herself, I think. maybe someone else gave it to her and she liked it and kept it, but she's from somewhere near Toledo Ohio.  And I fell in love with her after I hired her, she just seemed so nice. She was 25 years old and in July she turned 26 years old. In about a month, on December 18th, I will turn 35 years old, which is so cool. I feel like I'm about halfway through my life, which makes me feel pretty old, which I like. I kind of want to be a weird old man, and I want to be with attractive women who find me attractive or just 1 womon would be nice.

 and it's pretty cold out Here. My right hand got really cold holding the cell phone to talk into this microphone making this video? So what else did I wanted to say? I don't think I need a million dollars to do whatever I want to do, but if I had .. so I'd like to keep my apartment, my expenses, what, how much money do I need?  To just live the life I want to Live. I guess maybe $2000 a month would cover almost everything, basic necessities, like housing and food and transportation, and then so add-on to that like travel expenses, Very expensive hotels. I probably could spend a lot of money, so just liberally 50,000 a month, I guess minimum. So after 10 months That would be 500,000, so +10 000, so in 2 more months so.  Is 650 000, so it's just a 700,000 a year? So yeah, a million isn't far off, I guess.

 but if I just, instead of 700000 a year, 

[ ? Like a 100 wife first ? ]

   maybe I just get A lump sum of a million dollars. Then I guess I'd be set for life if I could dis like, I don't know, invest 500000 and live off of that and then the first year I can. I'll spend most of the 500,000 traveling n stuff and then my money will make money. I can just live in hotels and Do whatever I want to do

 oh my God, I'm shivering. Yeah, what would I do now? Oh really? What I want to do is learn Spanish and Chinese and piano, learn to play the piano and speak and read and write Mexican Spanish mostly.  Mexican Spanish and then every kind of Chinese read and write and speak Chinese Mandarin mostly. Okay. This is a long enough.

and oh yeah, I was drinking Moscow mule. yeah I did that Yesterday as well. I woke up at like 3 AM. And drank a Moscow mule, Not a teal 1, a cayman Jack in the can. Anyway, I hope mom. 's okay. I hope she doesn't worry about me. I really want my mom to die so that I can just sleep, live and hang out at this house and I don't know about Hank. I thought I wanted to kill and eat our dog Hank because he's annoying Most of the time, and it's not worth it, I mean.  Of course, I like animals. I don't want to say I love animals, because I don't know. Love is such a wholly holy, divine word, and like Jesus said to love each other, and I agree with him. And I don't want to put animals, Other animals on the same... I mean humans are not just animals, assuming that humans are people... Are animals people, are trees people?  No. 

God is 3 people or 3 persons. I don't know how to say, one God, 3 people, it's cool. separate but equal identities, personalities that are undividable. It's hard to say, 3 is 1 and 1 is 30. But anyway, so people are people.  And humans are people and animals or they're not entirely animal. But Jesus was entirely human and entirely God. I don't know about the word entirely, but it sounds good enough. fully is a better word. 

Anyway, so I love everyone and everything Will work out.

 Good night? I love you?

bye by

 I choose not to think. I am absent from reality. But the times of physical life remind me. You feel my hurtful taking. I fear my meaningless deaths. I remind anyone or even everyone of the sock hiding on a human face

To live in seconds, so therefore you think of a space for reality to sit and take all of us for gossip in the Right ear..

His only son, raped like killing waterfalls 

I urge manufacturing to engineer facsimiles of great science-wheel works

I know what it dunks

Logically thinking then is trying confusion

Take a shoe, see the best option 

From a to b to 1 to final 2

I excise frost

Noun at a simple mechanism dusts the possible for what Why?

Here, that is it.

Dear God, Private Prayer

~ 29th June ....

 Thank You for skin.

Am I hungry or sleepy?

Should I know for sure?

You are All I want. 

Please give me Time. 

I am sorry for being too horny every day. 

Sorry for a lot

How can I feel correctly ?

How does anyone , like I did ,

Think You might not be real?

Why are miracles hard to believe?

I want to feel and know what being Jesus is

Thanks

Thanks , Everything . .

Why do I often question 

Why Everything seems so difficult or painful ?

Please let me accept all that I should 

Help me. Give me power

Thank You

Big time.

What is absurd ?

Can You be with me Always?

O of course You can.

Can I always be with You?

I mean thinking of You first

And really only ever thinking of You.

Of course You know what I mean .

I love You. . . .

I need You. 

Of course I cannot exist without You 

Nothing can.

Thanks

Should I keep doing this?

I know I should sleep now.

Why am I still doing this?

How do I do my best?

I'll try to sleep for You.

Of course I will keep praying, talking with You

Unless I get distracted 

If it is Your will

Thank You 

Now I say goodbye to Whoever is reading this for now

: Those were thirty six sentences. I said 'thank' six times.

.

The next night is now.

I write to whoever reads this. God, You read everything. 

I especially write to, or for myself 

Everyone is God, but God are not everyone 

Some how that makes sense. 

Just like squares are rectangles.

I must remember You, God.

I must sleep.

But I am selfishly enjoying the deprivation to my brain

I imagine work with Tim tomorrow. 

Actually I think this prayer is better than last night's. 

It paints a picture

What do You think? Thanks

I need questions. 

I am relatable, practical scenarios and situations. 

Am I?

I derive the meanings of words to you, individual reader. Maybe you are related to me.

I don't know what I mean,

I don't completely understand. 

What do i pray?

I want to adopt as many children as I can handle. 

I am dumbfounded. 

How can people turn this planet into these buildings and technologies? Rooms, fixtures, furniture, dyes, paints, stains

Visions, cameras, lenses, screens, batteries, software, code, circuits

Walls, smart cars, lights

Renewable energy,

Does that exist?

I trust it, I hope it is real

But that seems a waste of hope.

We People put our energy in.

God Give energy, They gift

You Gift us

To us.

Spiritual energy

Is this correct?: 

the body is part of mind. The mind part of Spirit.

I mistake the voice in my mind, my memory and imagination as all of my mind.

Even when I spaceout or marvel at cosmos existence, hear good music, walk and look at trees and parks and clouds,

That's Mind.

Of course Aaron's said All is Mind

We Agree. 

The Spirit

Absolute Spirit, I think of Nikki Kirigin.

Hegelian

I must find my duty. What can I do to help solve history? Aaron and Lonergan said something about the solution of history. 

Please Help me read Marx, listen to Carlos and others in the Seminar on Marxist Philosophy and read the readings.

Please Forgive me.

I know You always Do. You Are beyond time. Is that like sublation? God Are ultimate sublation, sublation of Sublation. Is sublation just a human thing?

Substation. 

Things seems dirty, smudgy, dark, like a mechanic caricature on a screen.

God Are the solution of history and more.

I will go. I am Your Will. You Will my will. I will be as You Will.

I have some self-control. 

I got high on delta-9 thc. 

I think I have been doing better with Food, eating. 

Sorry I worked on MTG cards too much.

Please.

I need to finish Trust in the morning to be a better person. 🙏 

Not really funny

I am glad

Thank thank thank You You You 

. . .

Til tomorrow 

.

 God , what is wrong with me?

I feel a Desire so strongly.

You Are in me.

I love You All.

I feel I am nowhere close to understanding Love.

I was just feeling sad because I want to live with the woman. I want to marry the beautiful woman inside and out.

Can we love infinitely. I assume not; I think nothing is infinite.

God, Are Y'All limitless?

I feel a need to write a long essay about the striving and the desire for an understanding with God, You.

Best is best.

We only really exist when we are trying our best.

GoD Love us as we walk on sidewalks by busy streets and millions of people living in the same buildings.

There are trees for days and oxygen and life, Happy faces creating a culture of blooming, suffering safety. Give us all You Need.

Does that sound good for the moment?

Bye 

I'll be with Y/you Again soon but not at this Moment.

-

It's a bit later now.

I am watching The Making of The Girl from Monday.

I am Drunk and High just like the Jo Firestone camping sweater.

Joe said Aren't you?

Jo said You definitely took something important out of the bug out bag for this . . .

I am You, God.

Sorry for the blasphemy or heresy.

Where should I go?

What Do You Say To me?

I thought this walking back home just down from the convenient store,

God Speak to All. We all hear God. 

It is like listening to ourself.

Okay, I will try again anew

By.

2 July 

Please help me survive. 

Please help me embody understanding. 

Thank You. 

I trust, respect, love and admire You.

I do not know if I will ever understand. 

I know You Will Let me know.

It feels so fucking good,

 so perfect, so correct.

I watched Trust for the second time in three days.

Please Help me!

I feel so lucky, not grateful enough. 

I am so lucky.

3rd July, 

1:15 a.m. I commented on a short of El Ten Eleven, "You will save me.."

You Will Save me.

I commented on Love Luna's latest, "

@gy4bg-iz8wq0 seconds ago

I thank you for your videos [: I like you a lot

I didn't mean it to look like that. I meant to be normal.

I thank You for Everything. 

I love You Eternally, more thank anything and Everything 

.  . .

Night.

2:12 a.m.

While .

wow, God whaDo You Think of this?

You See And Hear everything. 

You Sacrifice. 

What? I do knot know. 

I just had more rum.

I feel shame.

I am so horny.I want to explode.

And explain.

Weird, I said Burp me and the computer said,

Convert me.

I will buy time.

I will live in a cool and beautiful place with a cool and beautiful woman.

We will be married in the orthodox church.

Life will be difficult and surprising.

My love will stretch toward infinity.

Becoming most human 

we have this gift.

Okay , that's okay for now.

2:55 a.m.

I'm sorry.

I keep getting out of bed.

I just drank more rhum.

I am so horny. I don't know why I don't just masturbate.

Krissy Jae texted me last night. She wants to cuddle even when she's tired. She has chronic fatigue syndrome flare ups.

Ha, the computer said, five bro algebra.

I texted her,

"O, of course (: <3 more than willing."

So I just don't really know how to sleep tonight.

I know I can listen to Sleep with me, podcast. Or something like that. ASMR videos help a lot.

But I get too horny and distracted and excited by existence.

So many beautiful people are creating these beautiful lives

So I don't know how I fit in. ...

You Are in me.

You Are Helping me Always. All ways.

I always want to do the best for You.

I think I want to be pure.

I want to be like stars and clean cool water.

-

Don't say no.

Just say Yes.

4th july

I posted this poem today on my blog, newgirlybelong.blogspot.com ,

Save me. Save me. Save me. Save me,

I sneak around staring at the sun.

The One Last Thing, 

Save Everyone. 

- Please

and Thank You. . . .

I Hope I love You

I Hope I love You

I Hope I love You.

_

5th July

You Are all-powerful.You Are responsible for everything.

You Do everything..

You Collaborate with us to Create a cosmos as Perfect as You.

Thanks,  by the way

You Control everything. We still control parts of ourselves.

I wish I would ask you more questions.

Yes, I got so much closer to you, that it felt unreal, almost too easy.

I felt I really spoke to you as I had never imagined.

And maybe I can hear you. I must.

We are Your children. You Are our Father, our Keeper, our Saviour [safe here. ]

We must choose to listen and obey.

. . .

6,7 2024

Ha, also something that no one wants to hear and should never be true ,

I want to murder someone or myself.

I just want to say something.

Right something.

You are a perfect substitute for morality.

I do not know what that means.

free

Possible crime scene. They make my love look like a bloody fucking triangle of piss and traces.

Sweet quick little pine fun why are we so far from what we will become.?

The possum has given himself to a lady now a bottle of shit is given to the fun time that love can dream of.

Why am I SO fun with a life that I cannot remember? A single woman takes her vows and delivers a sunday morning finality in the soothing scape of a schrine. [[ time]]

I overestimate the people who will judge me.

It is You, You and You.

Mon. July 8th

Hm.

I may have been having a kind of panic attack a moment ago, walking in my apartment. 

I remembered Billy saying to take a walk.

Outside. 

I. 

Am sitting on the end of a stone retaining wall near my building, facing Mabel Davis Park. 

I am worried about people looking at me, thinking about me.

That has been an issue with me for long time 

. . .

My back is a bit uncomfortable. 

I am going to walk about a bit 

Now.

Talk with you later. 

I hope we do not waste all of chances

For a kind and good life 

The end.

Thanks to Her

Thanks to You

All.

I am back in the apt. 

Before i went out and wrote the beginning of today's entry [the panic attack]

I was drinking cold black coffee and watching good mythical more,

And Soon after returning 

I was doing the same. 

So maybe I show symptoms of insanity 

I wish I had gone to Liturgy at Saint Elias yesterday 

I feel like I cannot stop thinking of Billy

the prostitute or escort who made love with me twice un February. 

I want to be with her. I want to be married to her.

She's only really my 2nd sexual experience 

I scheduled 3 texts to send her on July 31st.

She told me her birthday is in July. 

She turns 26.

I do not know if any of this Can make sense 

I am sorry. 

Thank You

Amen.

You may have noticed

I am getting sick of myself

and I am confused as to what I should do each waking moment.

I know I and it will get

Better.

You Too

These lights

Are a reminder to always 

Love christ and my self.

July 9

They Are always on.

I will replace them.

July 11

I am excited, glad and grateful to be reading Our Lady of the Highway by Hal Hartley. 

July  17

I need to read to save the World.

I need to know what people need to live good lives.

I need to know more about people living close to me, and people who want or need my help now.

          I want to. 

I do not know what to do. 

How should I know?

I want to write a plan. 

I want to search online for a plan to do good.

I do not know if you know what I mean. 

I want to know You , God. 

I want to go to church Sunday. 

I wonder what my life would be like if I never had to have a job. 

I have been jobless for long times. I am lost.

I think I want to stay in a hospital. But I don't know. 

I think of Carlos Go., Marxist revolution and Communist Earth.

I should sleep now I guess.

Bye.

20th July 

Adam Green , " What a fucking waster. "

I should read more Our Lady of the Highway. 

I love it. I texted that I do to Aaron and Andee. And thank you a bunch. Aaron replied. 

I am too interested in Bloomburrow. 

My excitement reminds me of Neon Dynasty. 

I'm sorry for wasting all this time.

I should sleep. It's almost 6. I made coffee before 5. It has half and half. There's a bit more in the mug.

I am watching a set review to prepare for the prerelease.

I am going to costco with Mom about 3.

I just want everything cod. Maybe more Kerry Gold.

Life can be beautiful. I do not know how. Is it obvious?

I will play the New York Times games now. 

I like Strands, Spelling bee, wordle and the mini.

Letterbox usually frustrates me.

I promise to make Up to You.

I don't really know why Up is capitalized,, but You Do. 

Talk with You All again Soon 

I want to view Soon by Hal Hartley. 

I will watch Ned Rifle this morning 

Twill be very Good. 

I get less lazy.

You Give me All,

The Will To Be Better, To Be More.

Thank You for All.

Ned Rifle is life-changing. 

2:38 , 21st July 

O, Fuck me Harder, God.

Um, What I mean is Mind Fuck.

Make me Different.

Please Help me Fix myself.

Thinking thoughts

Brain Bots

Sleep with me.

Pod cast

Okay I must type.

It is two forty two.

God You Must Be Grateful Too 

You Are Grace

Glory. Beauty. Greatness.

Good Game.

I waste Time.

I am Evil.

We all have infinite work.

This is the reconstruction of a formerly eternal reality....

Pod and the bean , for saking ... The Blood , the fascia

. Facing farting penis pornography.

This is not all that I can do.

We are the forehead of the Mind of The Palestinian...

I hope Eternally that I may be one Piece of the most correct question ?

The only God. May we Rest with You.

ctefeeeeyItya

. Yes .

Later....

4..

In a morning, 

I am listening to Ned Rifle from another tab.

I am staying awake all night. 

I am ashamed. 

I dunno why.

Weak, misdirected, misguided, selfish

Maybe it's going to work into something Better

Who?

Wow, Death is So very possible. 

As Always.

I may die. So I am full-of-wonder.

Thanks -

It's a whole freak rollercoaster falling off the awesomest waterfall

Designed by a big brain bunch of boys and babes 

All in One squeezing the Most nectar-marrow

Out the Fuckin disc 

In memoriam

For the Same Being.

Then.

4:46

I've been drawn to what is Different, Because most of everything seems to be silly mindless busyness, Getting from 1 day to the next.

We must change everything To become anything.

My brothers are weird.

And I am the one. ...

Not too special

A little less spicy....

Ha Ha

Huh.

Thank my lucky st-ouffer's macandcheeses.

O, God, Damn my fuck.

5:37

I'm gonna eat Your Flesh and kill Your fucking God.

It is a Mean

I am so tired, started to get sleepy. I wonder if I can sleep most of the day. 

I wonder what People are like?

What am I?

Wonder what my face is

I watched Ned Rifle twice. It is brilliant 

I stopped a couple minutes till the end

I want to Save it

I am Brilliant : from collapsing clouds of gas and dust.

I am Opposites

      mfc.com

I like when you say I am a bad person, 

Nothing else to do.

Everything is late.

13:50

All , my fucking god

Jesus fucking christ

This is too much for me, or Who?

I'm going to count myself but just cause I want to die

To melt and Implode.

employed

....

https://youtu.be/kqP16kv3UDw?si=CTNudbQ19Bb-RNh2

I said,

Tomorrow in a day...

[:

I need You more than Any any . . .

I just bought mini box of cab sav At seven eleven.

Sorry.

Your Blood

Is in me , my taste buds

Gullet gut

Tracked

Blood....

It is.

I wrote this at biomat. giving plasma:

       My Jesus Poem Prayer

Christ christ christ christ christ christ Christ,

The Leader, The Teacher,

You Give What we live:

in Time Safe <-> lives.

We ask You

Answer

< YES >

I.

Feel unprecedented bliss and anticipationnnn

I have a date with Jae at two p m tomorrow.

It is of course complicated , always more complex.

She has bad chronic fatigue syndrome.

I want to make her come.

I think, though, she will keep our relationship professional. She is a cuddle therapist. I found her online.

We have been texting a lot... though. We shared music with each other.

    https://newgirlybelong.blogspot.com/2024/07/whlo.html?m=1

The Tri State

It is, Holy Life Only

Radio

Orthodox Church 

Hal Hartley' Our Lady of the Highway, a Novel

OLHW

Who Loves?

I want to make make a film called Hal Hartley's Our Lady of the Highway, a Novel

From now, 14:37 July 21st, on I shall only

post my prayers here. 

::

Prayer Exercise based on these Alcestesque song titles I made up

1. Le monde étrange des chansons
2. Un rêve de soulagement
3. Esprits vitreux
4. Sans destin
5. Renoncule sauve le monde

English,

The Strange World of Songs

A Dream of Relief 

Glassy Minds   [or Intellects]

Without Desiny

Buttercup Saves the World 

1. Do You Have a place for me to sing and be heard fully to fully enter other human souls and set in motion changes that make this weird life into a loving beautiful connection of Gods and eternal humans?

2. What do I do to find a peace that can last, something that will effect my conscious habit and transform my chaos into Your order?

3. You Have Shown us All Clarity. How can we show each other how to learn from mistakes and keep everyone strong and always making things correct?

4. There is choice. We are always ourselves only. You Give All of Yourselves. Each time and thing is the most important for us to pay our best attention to and make reality what we know You To Be. Henry Fool

5. Do You Want us to have fun while we figure out what Truth and justice will be for our eternal salvation?

I Want to Say to Jae on Our Third Meeting 

 

You can come over whenever you want.

We can eat or do anything you want.

[What's minus yards.]

What is mine is yours.

I want to help you feel good.

I want us to be friends forever. [But I don't know if I would really let myself say that.]

I will trust you.

What is your name?

... 

_______

God, I love language so much.

22nd July 

03:40

It's so Fun to talk to You. Knowing You Are Always Listening 

I feel less crazy. Thanks for Everything. And for You.

Are You Self-Created? 

Are Y'All Uncreated?

Creator Is enough.

All Really 

You Are It.

It is so Good. 

God...

You Are The Best

Of all possible bests.

This is always difficult for me to believe. 

This is the very point.

I love You 

So much.

I want to try to never be misunderstood;

Context is ever important. 

Can I help You?

I was talking about times of day out loud for a while,

Which I type just so every one else will know too.

Okay I am going to do some things else , now .

04:23

The Several Sinful Deaths

 Deaths are not ends.

We can be dead and dying, in two camps:

   Love of Self (with God)

  Love Without God

Love is ever inevitable. 

Love without God is the opposite of the one true love , God.

Examples are difficult to define or describe. 

If we knew more, then we could adequately address these challenges, bringing us further from killing ourselves and closer to our eternal God, the Living in the Meaning of Love.

You know?

Thank you. . . . YOU .

Okallright then . Now,

Don't want to change. 

Don't want anyone to change or want to. 

I don't know exactly but

I am again watching Joe Pera Builds a Chair with You.

He breaks my heart again. 

How does he do it?

How is it possible?

I can only ask You ,  really.

11:08

I have not slept enough. 

I am too excitable.

I feel close to You, God. Maybe close to death and the end of time and everything. 

I walked by the pool here.

I saw fairy lights over a 2nd floor balcony. 

I thought, I wish I had the time, energy and money. 

I walked in Mabel Davis this morning, "I love my composition. I mean my word creations, acceptance and completion." ...

Things get too intense for me. 

You know I mean ...

.

Ya

Like It

How do I do It.

Please if I may, Will You give me the power to make better choices?

O. Of course. As always. You Think of everything 

15:02

I was waiting for mail. Walking about,

       All my efforts are rewarded. 

I thank You for insights. I thank You even more for my effort.

That is kind of profound.

O, Jesus. I pray so hard, Jesus.

      This ... this. ...

This cannot be fixed.

This is what - who I live with,

My basis of being.

Making peace

Too much I want to tell.

15:57

I drank Yellow Tail Syrah. It's red wine. 

I like it. It does something. 

Someone knocked my door. They delivered THC gummies. I ate 2

I am going to Jae's apartment in a couple hours. At 19:00.

I know we will hug then cuddle on her bed. 

I do feel Like dying.

I just ate. I feel good......... .

 . . . .

I want to watch Trust again.

...

Sorry, I forgot. This was supposed to be , from now on , explicitly prayer.

But I guess i'm just conforming to norms.

It helps a lot, My dear god to remember to address you directly.

So now in this blog post i shall remember that I can be your second self. Or fourth self. Like a mirror.

I thank You. Again. And again 

How many people are almost identical ' young ' men like me?

How close am I to other Humans?

Ok.Okay . it's 17:17.

Thunder is rolling...

I am listening to CDs... ( see these]

I just heard a mighty wind. It's the opener of a mixed cd I made...

Please help me be sober enough to be A husband to Krissy Jae tonight.

I just need to drive to her apartment. 

It begins to rain. Maybe Soon

I don't know what to say. Of course,  You hear Everything. 

This Prayer blog is for me, or another lost soul on a web browser...

       That seems the truest thing I have said.

We live for Each Other.

Oh God. Thank you.

This is even better than the high on thc revelations I was just speaking aloud to meself. 

I realised then that I should never worry about the past.

It seems stupid Now.

But i like this Playlist  or cD...

I love my highschool self. 

He needs it , colloquially.

I feel like I am Marrying Jae. Because we are friends now.. and I paid her to cuddle.

Now we cuddle to help ourselves and each other...

It is so complicated 

That it is a reason I have to believe You.

Intelligence is a design, designed intelligently. 

So the egg in chicken.

Both are first.

Time is now.

They are Creator and Creators. 

It is This beautiful.  ....

Anyway. Love is They. Love everone.

Why do I think about murder and suicide the way I do?

I really want to ask you more questions.

Who - - and I don't know where I'm going with this - - but who can realize what the perfect reality would be - even though they are just one human with this much time in a day?

I am listening 2 ... 5 o'clock World by dave clark five.

It is quite nice. I drank too much wine.....

Okay. I know if I'm not being God at this moment,

I must go to my normal journal.

And figure these daily ideas out...

27, 7, 2024

20:12

Oh my God, I love her so much, it feels like my body isn't even mine anymore. 

What is it?

She is

So beautiful, It is difficult to believe I get to get so close to her.

Oh Jesus, What do we do with ourselves question mark

Thanks for giving me way more than I can ever understand

!

It Is Good

YOU Are All Good....

Of course, I refer to Jae... or Jen.

Check the other journals. I guess [:

 I just do not know what I really Feel or Am

Just feels freaking crazy.

I am getting ready to spend the week at mom's working at josh's house.

Things feel so unreal. so strange.

I just want some help, just to get through the day...

Gosh , it just feels so good, I cannot explain.

But you know specifically , in my life choices...

I just seem like things are Almost Perfect , but in the weirdest way....

I hope this gets through somehow to someone....

Hah this is quite dramatic I guess.

I took 10 mg of THC. Pineapple express.

Si , I'll probably wanna go to sleep in a minute.

Feel like I should eat something

I am really excited about life and the future

People are the best

And the Trinity Is even better

Amen. thank You All 

12:56

29, 7, 2024

Why am I so lost?

You Can't Lose anything .

I must ask for all the help I can get?

What do I deserve?

Thanks for Listening

Thanks for Giving me a voice

I love You more than anyone can love anything ,

Everything About You is immeasurable and ineffable .

. . .

It would be weird if someone loved God and loved something more.

-

Why am I obsessed with Women?

I guess it is good to continue humanity, procreate. Make Love

I must pray. I must write.

I must love. I must be Godly.

I just want to make sense,

Be rational, respectful, responsible, reasonable and sensible .

31, 7, 2024

15:30

I am melting. Again. I need Your Structure. 

Can You Make me more like DuBois?

I will be grateful Eternally. 

So, I need to read and just pay attention to DuBois.

Paying attention is maybe the most difficult. 

Am I on any correct path?

I trust that You Help me as much as I deserve. 

I am in the ground.

I want to be Trees.

Am I Jesus too?

Jesus is the Best, right?

Well. We have potential to be human Versions of You...

How?

....

09, 08, 2024

It's been too long since I prayed. J is in her way to my place. She's getting food for herself. I wonder if she'll spend the night. That excites me a lot. I ate ten mg of thc a few hours ago. I got sleepy. I ate almonds. I drank a little red wine. I lay on my bed listening to ASMR. sleepwithme is playing. 

There's something wrong with J's apartment. She said my AC is probably better than her friend's, where she was.

I took 5 more mg. Maybe I will fall asleep on her. I want to tell her I'm sleepy and that I think I could fall asleep on her. That means physically on her and like on her, as in Don't die on me.

Anyway. I want food. I stress out about having this different intimate relationship. It's almost like we're halfway to boyfriend, girlfriend. 

If she weren't coming over, I would have eaten the rest of the Mac and Cheese. I will when she goes.

I am really curious. What will we do? How long will she stay?

Weird timing and everything 

11, 08, 2024

11:33

I'm sorry . it's hard to pray.

I am.

Taking a shit

It feels pretty good , because I am usually constipated.

I love myself way too much. It's a problem. I need to pray.

Jen came over friday night.

It was pretty awkward. And I made some regrets. And uh, we got a little closer.

...

It is so difficult, but I know you want me. But do you want me like this?

I do love to struggle sometimes.

I wanted to find that line that Sister Bernadette says that I think was just a few pages ago where I am in   our lady of the highway by hal hartley.

All we ask for is burdens.

His burden is.

 The best?

Is the miracles

Do we in america?

I want to love like a child of God like an ancient warrior , who loves family and everyone and is tortured and murdered.

I want to help everyone enjoy this Heaven.

 5 , September, 2024

5,17

Dear God,

Thanks for words.

Thanks for being. 

Who reveals? Who will reveal? What is revelation?

Thank You for church and hands and brains.

. The End .

9-11, 2024

I woke up. How is that possible?

It was a dark morning. 

People's lives are fruits and vegetables in a cloth, hanging, squozen together; the juice is the present and the past and perception. 

We are animals and refractions of God.

If i am here and now I am always prayers...

Another 24 hours.

.