Wow , I am going to spend two nights at tim's tomorrow and tonight , it's allright
It's hard for me to believe how depressed and\or Lestragic, apathetic i have been ... just sad maybe, because I haven't been working and I have been taking a lot of Drugs and alcohol and feeling bad , like tired. But mostly, just like, not much will to live or to live ... Well . I was wondering how bad i could get ... if I would actually be suicidal or catatonic maybe
[ I eat badly , almost always , i seem like i don't care .. i don't know, at this moment. It is 5 13 friday march 13. I woke too early, took too many anti anxiety pills . O well, i wonder what today will be ?
" ]
But don't worry about it
We all are saved , somehow
We do things , or we don't
Nice to have work tomorrow
Tim will drive
It is easy for me
Maybe i finally kinda understand why some people feel so hopeless and bad when they dont have work , job , occupation , creative outlet , focus .
Maybe i was seasonally affected by all the clouds and less Sun
I stayed in bed too long, too many mornings
[:
I started talking with jen acouple weeks ago
There is ... everyone
I do not know .
I think I'll lie in bed when my mom gets here
I drank irish cream .
J
I wonder what hell and heaven are
Where am i ? What will i do ? I know something .
I will be more specific
Next time
.
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