Don't want to play games or stay in bed.
Want to travel Earth and hike thru cities mountains and rivers.
Build good hospitals and healthy homes
Everything is okay when i cannot stand.
Do Nothing
Have Nothing
Be Nothing
Say Nothing
To Lying 🧉
Lying to Me
I will sleep. i will Sleep
I am drinking coffee and Bailey's
I drank some white wine from the bottle, hoping my mother didn't hear
Igot in the hot tub , it feltreally hot
I felt good from alcohol.
I felt manic / obsessive from everything
I thought of all these words i could type
Yesterday i took 840 mg of thc at once, as soon as i left Aaron's. I was really nervous to see him, because I never know what I should say. I guess it went fine.
I never understand time. Why continue to live or do or be anything? Everything that exists, always exists. Is anything enough?
Then i was home alone
It was okay
For hours
I fell asleep
my mom called at 6 to say they were done vintage table shopping and she was coming home
We ate jalapeño macaroni and cheese.
We watched 33 minutes of Brokenwood series 12 episode 6 , the lastest. It's about a mysterious dead old man eater mother. Frodo is dating her daughter, she runs ultra marathons
This week i though that words don't mean much to me.
I need to plan lives, or just my own
I need to tell myself what to do and how and why
My mother and I are watching Cbs Sunday morning show
And switching to the men's final game of the French open.
I thought, i need to watch you tube ,
I seem lonely
I like how my mind doesn't work . I don't work .
I like this house. Stuff
I walk
With my hand
I do things
Touch
Feel
Allow
Fall
Dance Think , wander , sing , wear clothes , change , drink , eat , see , wash pee poop , talk , be anyone , go everywhere , exist always
I do whatever
I care when
-
I am also other people
I am also Rock Climbing
They are also Christ in the wild
He is me going to Walmart
They are washers and small fishes
I am again a radio and forecasts for Climates and Feeling and stuff
You are also Big Trees and small city blues and Tastes of Allgood People
At the End,
Bye
With you.
Later Love
I took 2 Nyquil pills
Feel like drunk and sleepy, loopy
Like I don't care.
I'm drinking more wine, in a floral green glass.
I just live with my Mom.
How do I know what to do next?
What step is 1st ?
You?
This feels cool.
What?
i guess the totality of the mass , the weight of feeling
- We watched Tom Davies and his brother ben in Machester No Roads episode 2
I watched the latest Office Hours with Tim Heidecker .
I'm finishing Geekenders
I think my mom wants to get little Caesar's today
I want to sleep.
I am waiting for ups or fedex to deliver, for my mom.
I want to watch Humans with Hank, the first one with John
Okay
I will
. . . .
I hope i find i have cancer this year. That would be a relief, for me, for a lot of reasons .
Instead 1st, i am finishing ask hank anything , blaire qt.
Then humans
