* Trans cribed

 This is a journal entry. I am just too lazy to try to type my thoughts out. So, here I go:

I been watching Pinnochio in short segments, like 10 or 15 minutes at a time, not really paying good attention. I don’t know why. I really wanna see it all, but my attention gets shorter and shrtr it seems. When I’m by myself, it’s scary how difficult everything is. I wanna walk in the park all the time, sunrise and sunset, but it just seems like too much to put on the right clothing and be seen by people. I just think, How much more comfortable, how much more distracting to stay inside with my devices and 50 dollar a month internet. I just stay inside and drink Kahlua and vodka.

I been spending too much money; the main thing I want to tell you about is: Something caused me to remember cuddle therapy, so I searched online and found the website Cuddlist, and I booked a woman named Marlene in San Antonio and I talked to her last night and confirmed and discussed it… I drove this morning to her house and had a really nice walk; there’s a really cute park near her house in NW San Antonio, kinda outside in Leon Valley. SO, she came outside and we went inside. We went upstairs and I peed and washed my hands and we sat on the bed. Then we lay down. I started getting erect, as soon as I got there. So we held each other and touched each other. Hah, I can’t believe this is in my memory. I think I started to dissociate. I was lying there on the bed with her and I was trying to hide my erection.

It felt really good. I felt like I was 10 years younger and I actually had a girlfriend; I don’t know how to understand or explain it. It’s making me so emotional. It was so nice. She was really nice. Eric Satie came on her playlist. I was erect most of the time. I think she probably noticed at least once. My nose is running.

We cuddled for an hour. We basically hugged and spooned lying on the bed. She touched my face which made me happy and aroused. I touched her face which was very strange: it’s like we were a couple, like we were in a romantic relationship, except I was paying her so that she would lie on a bed and cuddle me. It’s starting to arouse me again. --- I just need to slow down…

Anyway, I leaked precum thru my boxers and made a spot on my grey Eddie Bauer pajama (or sweat) pants. So I pulled my shirt down, tried to hide it, while walking down the stairs. Then we hugged at the door for about 20 seconds. I left and said thanks.

Before we started I handed her the 5 20s. It was a hundred dollars an hour, and she let us lay there about 5 more minutes, so that we didn’t have to get right up after an hour. She was really cool; I don’t know if I’ll go see her again, because I actually already requested an appointment with a cuddliest in Austin. She’s much younger and more attractive. Marlene is pretty fat. I was squeezing her torso and felt like her bra a little bit.

But I’m even more excited about these 2 other cuddlists. I think in about 3 or 4 weeks, after I get a massage from Sara, I’m gonna go to the cuddliest in Austin. She looks really cool and she charges 125 an hour, and I’ll probably talk to her soon an schedule and confirm with her. And then there’s a cuddlist in Dallas who only charges 90 dollars an hour, and she looks really amazing, like she has short curly black hair, or it’s just down to her neck. I really wanna drive up to see her, probably in Febuary, February.

Wish I could remember their names. Anyway, I think I’m gonna play some Oregon Trail card game. I was gonna leave it out, but I don’t want Kit to see it there and make judgements about what I do with my time. Yeah… I’ve had a lot of Kahlua and vodka. I have some more to drink. I think I’m gonna get pretty blitzed or blasted, yu kno.

So, I gotta go type this out. It’s almost 10 minutes long. I need to transcribe Process and I hope to see Aaron and Andee on New Year’s Eve.

I love you. Good night. Good luck.