I did it. I did 20 pushups and 20 leg lifts. I tried to do a few sit ups. I have to throw my arms forward to get all the way up. My gut feels in the way. I hope I get rid of it soon. I am very weak, mostly. Leg lifts feel kind of easy, but they get difficult quickly. I feel good about doing more than 10. I got back in bed, watched Erin Timony. She drives me wild. I don't know how to feel. She seems perfect in a lot of ways. I am very.. envious I guess. I watched ASMR on my boyfriend, with Marno. I am baffled. Why? How could I be someone like her, or be with her, intimately, and so on? Why everything? It is frustrating when I let myself be obsessive.

What do i do? I am quite disappointed. Disappointing? The family has postponed Fredricksburg. I am still going to text Jessi in about 30 minutes that I am taking a sick day. I composed the text yesterday, coming down with a cold or something. Mom leaves in about 2 hours.

The only down side for me now really is that I'll lie to Kit and Mom, and I'll have to drive somewhere to make it look to them that I am coming home from work at 6:30.

O well....

Mom put on White Xmas again. It's okay. I suggested it yesterday anyway.

Ohkay, I am going to do some Magic: the Gathering for a bit now.

I'll vacuum and take a bath after Mom leaves.

I'll drink rhum, probably, and make egg nog. I want to take 5 weeks off alcohol the day after xmas.

O, I want to buy a bottle of  wine from Walmart, so it looks like I've drunk fewer bottles of my 14 bottle order. And I want to research a deep pore cleanser and buy one, hopefully my face will look less raw, greasy and off-putting.

So 

have fun

Later i love you,

Grg.