My mom just took a shower. I was about to hot tub for the 2nd time today but am waiting for Hank to finish eating. We are baking Marie Callender's frozen meals. I feel extra tired, more than usual - O yea, because I did not sleep enough, addicted to surfing the unhealthy web, touching myself. - We took the walk. I drank an alka seltzer daytime cold medicine [two fizzy tablets] , just for a general pain killer (which I've done several times in past few weeks) , like alcohol: I was anxious about my life and stuff, my brain and health. I decided to quit porn for good today. I forgot for a bit and watched and looked up Amy Kay ASMR. I emailed Donna Rich again... We'll just see....

 I am back from the hot tub. Mom is watching Moonrise Kingdom now. We just saw the rising moon from the deck. My sober October is going well. I started on September 26th, over 3 weeks. It's probably been almost 10 years since I went without drink this long. I want red wine. Mom made a beef bourguignon with a bottle cooked in it. It was/is alright. [ Now is tomorrow and I just ate the rest, except some dry beef that I put on the floor for Hank; he's not eaten it, because he's been outside for a while. ]

The food's ready.

Later babies

grg