I have spent probably 20 years 

in this house. 

I am kind of tired. I came to Veda. Got in the hot tub, at 10:30 a.m. The sun shines directly on it. I drank a cup of coffee and some of my mom's cappuccino. We made sausage biscuits. Chelsea broke her tooth on an almond. They talked for a while.

I am watching, listening to GMM. It's really nice. The crew and all, of it.

I watched some podcasts yesterday. I loved the Office Hours with Eric Wareheim.

I cancelled library volunteering. I told 'them' it was because of sickness of family. But I just didn't want to think about getting a job, or talk to anyone.

Just did not want to.

I read almost 2 pages of a New Yorker article, "The Hospital". It's by a suicidal guy, going to the psych ER.

I did a little of Steve-O's Wild Ride with Bobby Lee. Now I am hearing Christina P, Where My Moms At?

They are all like water ducks in public parks.

Float the poo.

Washing the waste thru the rivers in America,

dead fish,

apples,

Death,

mycofilm

meals

deals

steals

and women

and men

bubbles and

Lover Land

red pink stringy meaty Hearts

Dry thin light tan dirty dirt

Lick the surface

Kiss deer

Lightning in the Sun ,

Melt to Dust,

thank you.

Mom put on The Wolf of Snow Hollow, it's really good,

i love Auld Lang Syne

just want to do nothing for months, no one asking me

no future.

No time, child, 9 years, tv, groceries, youtube, bed, sofa, snacks, los angeles, faces, laughing for no reason

crying for 16 relatives, 200 plus years, put together

many thousands of miles and forgetting

cars and graveyards

suns and grasses

dead leaves, warmth and winters

clothes and pillows

no memory, infinite memories

stretch out on the rug

all voices

once

all feeling

tiger belly 313 ,   really nice

rosebud baker, 315 seems even better

for me

i am nervous about being around Aaron tomorrow morning.

I just had some cucumber vod, poured the last of it. Made one with coco water and lemon soda.

 . . . .    Make it Back to fun   . . . .

i am doing sober October. Beginning tomorrow, September 25th , 3 month to chris miss . . . .

no yoga for two days.. not sure why. i just got in the hot tub for the 2nd time today.

we're getting poppa murphy this eve...

and   The End