It is Tuesday. The day after Labor Day. I drank a lot of vodka. It is 2:08 p.m. I drank about a mug full, maybe 4 ounces or 4 shots. It is much too much. I wanted to call Donna Rich, psychotherapist, and tell her that I am very unhealthy. I am not sleeping enough and drinking too much alcohol. I am stuck with my mom and Hank the dog, by my own choices. I don't know what I should do. I should work for some green engineering firm or hospital or emergency responders. Maybe I would fail horribly, but maybe I should try....

My temporary library job ended about 6 weeks ago. I should have been doing something good, doing some good. I gave blood. Maybe I will work there again soon. Then leave again soon.

We plan to go to the United Kingdom in 6 months.

Maybe I should farm. I should call Lorig from Middle Ground Farm in Bastrop again and leave another voice mail.

This alcohol is only okay enough in that it seems to help me type this and think through my problems.

I just put on the  Essential Miles Davis. He makes me sad, with the heroin addiction, I think. Coltrane makes me happy though. Listening to him feels very important, with the Love and the Trinity.

I spent too much of everything on Magic: the Gathering. I thought AFR (DnD) was very fun, the most flavorful. Anyway, Kit, Pat and I played for almost 8 hours two days ago, on Sundy which is my fun version of 'Sunday'.

I like Major Melon Mountain Dew. It is neon pink. It is mixed with vodka, Northern Peak. Most vodkas are bottled in Princeton, Minnesota....

I learned from Craig Benzine that people in Wisconsin drink a lot more alcohol than the average United States of American.

I love Craig, even if his videos are too silly and ADHDed.

I love John Green even if he is too OCDed and sad.

I am burning a lavender and sandalwood incense by Gonesh Sticks, bought from the Elgin HEB, called Relax. It smells very smoky.

I feel the vodka in my feet. It is like a slow mild orgasm.

I worry of feeling nauseous and my head aching and fatigue-- but that is what Mountain Dew is for.

I may crash. I may hang over.

I must Wait.

I began this more like a normal journal, but my attention is not well.

I plan to play around with more MTG online. I created a few more cards yesterday and today.

These are very many sentences beginning with I.

I wonder why I write like this, my inner voice, something formal, proper and correct. Something better than Who i think is me 

I want to eat more.

My neck is fucked.

My spine is tricky.

Posture suffers.

Always.

My mother and I are driving to South Padre Island in less than 5 days, with no dog. I am very happy about things.

I often wonder if I will be in an intimate relationship with someone. Ever. What will that person be like.

Look like. Act like. Their or her history. Their Mind and future and our dynamic.

I think of Las Vegas a lot. It is a fantasy land. It is so far removed from Nature. It is people eating themselves and fucking themselves, in every way possible.

I like this journal entry.

I am nervous about volunteering again at the Bastrop Public Library. It has been 3 weeks.

Oh well.

Do something else now

bye i love you

- Gregory Wredberg  ,   the first.

PS. 

I am making a deck on tappedout.net called Everyday Life, full of things from our world, like dogs, cats, a cow, a machete, murder and a pie. I like this a lot. 

I chopped the grass over the dogs' graves with a rusty machete...

It was fun.

<3

We watched the Bonus Features of Keeping Faith series 3. There are a lot and they're really good.

<3

Thanks, You.