I'm sorry, but I can't seem to stop myself from thinking about suicide, specifically killing myself but not the detaelse. [I said details. The computer responded with 'detaelse'. Looks like a beautiful word...] 

And not a desire to pick up any harmful substances.  And harm myself.

I would like to avoid all pain.

That seems absurd because we are just made of things and we feel the world with our nerves, and our brains interpret all of the same things that will keep our bodies, embodied Existence in this reality, will keep us safe, because They love us.

Everything loves us and everyone loves us.

Jesus on the cross

Heyzeus 

Yeshua

Josh

.

 texted tim that I was late. Then I said I'd be there by nine. Then I said I wasn't feeling right and I went home. I was enjoying just driving around.I was so sleepy that I felt kind of drunk.I unbuckled my seat belt.

I have been awake at night.Watching p*** and other stuff and just surfing the Web and writing things.In listening to music.

I took about half of a t h c gummy.

I feel tired .the. bit.

I really want to know what you mean, and what your whole life and your whole soul .r.

    forever.

Anyway

I hope tim is ok , in his mind.

I am.

Having a good day a little fun. I only watched a few minutes of The Girl from Monday.It's really cool, but I keep pausing it.To do stuff like this.

I checked the mail.A bit ago and I wanna check it every 30 minutes so I might catch when the mail comes.I would just like to know.

I was quite excited.I don't know if Krissy, Jae is gonna respond to my texts and that i can go cuddle with her, because she wants to cuddle with me, and we'll get mutual benefits.

I hope I go work.With Tim tomorrow. I am gonna get more high.I just know it.

I am gonna cook tuna creamy broccoli by tuna helper.

I love you so dang funky much.