A journal entry, video

 Hello, every god and woman alive.

Ha, that sounds bad. I'm getting really high right now. I had over half a gummy, Over fifty milligrams. Have also had a bit of wine. I got a magnum of Oak Leaf red blend.

See me. See my face, my nose, my lips, my eyeballs. Take my ears off. Take my cheeks and suck on them until you reclaim the woods for the holy people. Sorry. That sounded weird too.

 Wait, what did I want to do? Oh my gosh.

I want to do real journal. Wanted to put a journal entry on my blog.

 It's just too difficult to type. Especially since i'm so high and had some wine right now.

It's just really good to be honest and exhaustive with what's going on in my life. My thoughts right now about myself in my place in this universe ... are as follows ...

My head feels real weird, Not like my brain or my consciousness, but just The weight of my skull and brain.

Like what are they doing? Where are they goin?

This morning, I was gonna go early. I went about ten a.m. I parked at Auditorium Shores and walked to the Paramount Theatre. It was pretty fun.

I saw that the box office was closed. I checked online; they didn't open till noon. I got there an hour early.

I want to print the Joe Pera tickets. I put them on a credit card; my mom paid for them. I told her I would pay her back later, but i'm not going to. I think she forgot... maybe until I tell her i'm going to the show. I don't know if I need to tell her: there might be something else going on. 

Then I just kept thinking about coming back to this apartment to eat some marijuana thc. Just call it cannabis. And get real horny.

And also go get some wine, because for some reason, I wanted to keep a bottle in stock in my pantry. Just in case i'm having company. Ha. That's only happened once or twice, over one year.

I wanted to have any french, Hyink, and Parker. Over here and make them mac and cheese.

Show them my little apartment and the park. They have their little children, boy and baby girl.

I imagine bringing a date to my appointment. It's such a weird idea for me to actually date people. Try to attract an attractive woman to be in my life.

So we can go out to eat like we have all this money.

What can I offer her? Why would I want to date people?

I do want to have sex with people,  attractive women. Because i've been watching porn for twenty years online?

The stuff my brothers downloaded on the family computer. Being really excited and frustrated

From video games and watching my brothers play them? Just from being hormonal and young

Sneaking off to the bathroom every five minutes to touch myself, and my brothers caught me

It's interesting. I guess i'm going to transcribe this to my blog. Maybe tomorrow.

I am gonna take some more weed. Each of these gummies are a hundred milligrams of thc, So it's really easy for me to get too much, too much under the influence.

I gotta watch twin peaks: the return. I just borrowed it from aaron yesterday.

Aaron and Andee gave me my christmas present, just three months after christmas. It's a book by a really good writer/director/independent filmmaker Hal Hartley. It's Our Lady of the Highway.

It will be nice to read. I feel obligated to read it, because they gave it to me.

They think I should read it, so I should read it. Anyway, it looks cool. I want to read it.

Yesterday I helped aaron move his books to my mom's den. They talked for 5 minutes. It was pretty awkward. I said almost nothing. Kind of a weird conversation, my mom saying stuff I didn't want her to, not embarrassing for me but a little tense and silly.

I got to hug Andee, going back to their place. I hugged malakai goodbye. And hugged Aaron of course. I just left for some reason. Aaron was pretty hungry.

It was only two o'clock. I wanted to leave, because I had an appointment to donate plasma.

I don't want them to know that I donate plasma. I mostly do it for the money. But also I used to donate blood, because it felt good. It's something that I kind of enjoy, slightly painful, slight risk, sometimes. Mostly I like medical settings. I love Medical asmr. Just like someone.. you have to follow their instructions. Nothing has been seriously wrong with me, my health. I'm pretty lucky.

I don't know if i'm gonna get more high. It's good to walk around and talk. Okay, it's over ten minutes. I'm gonna finish this wine, just this glass. I'm gonna reheat the rice bowl I just made and watch something on youtube. Oh i've got Dex Bonus. Yeah, that's how this video started.

Dodger: i'm going to see her and listen to her talking.

All right, I don't know if there's anything else I wanted to confess or talk about.

Lots of weird stuff. I just felt weird even before I. I felt weird this morning, because I just had a little bit of rice. I fell asleep really early last night, because I had too much marijuana weed t h c gummy. 

Okay, I'm gonna go. My mouth is getting dry, or like my tongue is getting [sorry] sore .

Allright, talk to you soon. I love you. 

https://youtu.be/azfnEydPytE