I wonder why I think maybe I want to kill myself or maybe I should.

I don't wanna worry anyone; i've never seriously wanted to hurt myself. 

It seems too difficult for me to think or act well.

I make many bad choices. 

Always, what should I do, with now and with the rest of my life, whatever, wherever, whenever that is?

I almost always want to give up. I just don't want to try, whatever that means. I just don't know why. Practically, I know nothing.

I know a little about this eternal good and evil.

I know God loves us. And will do, does, has done everything for us. I know people are complex mysteries, Most of all to ourselves.

I know each of us has a purpose. 

I know perfection is possible, but not for us.

I fed bred to singing geese, soft like bright waters. Alight in the pond, projection, the intertransitive pathways of our shared collective brilliant imaginations. 45 year-old video game, we all say Wanna bask in the glory and victory : We Barge into respite , all is glowing from all sides, then we attempt to calculate if this is sunset or sunrise....

I don't get how people reshape this world. There is so much convenient housing and shopping. 

It takes hundreds or thousands of people. 

Almost functional specialization 

We have everything to do

Trade free time. Do jobs. Maybe try to pretend to care about a lot of things you cannot really care about.