Hello, it is become a bit of a hard day.

We, my mom and I, got abit busy, working on Terry's grave, recycling, grocerying.

But since we got home about an hour ago, I feel an achy restlessness, maybe loneliness. I highly anticipate mom leaving for her lunch tomorrow. I plan to buy 4 small bottles of merlot at lakeline soon after she goes. I think I'll drink 2 rite away. But how will I be? I'll be fine. I will write more and I hope to God I will read more. Or more than more.

I am glad I already got the 2 new bear cards and manifold key. I am kinda ready for my brothers on father's day. Bowling will be really fun, probably. I am nervous about the chance or likelihood that they will ask me difficult questions that I would rather ignore.

It seems I may see Aaron Saturday morning, which is scary to me. But only for less than 2 hours... I agreed to see Lightyear with my ma and Tim's family, minus Ash. That may be fun too.

I am looking forward to talking with Aaron. Texting about Alcest, the body and Bell Witch has been really nice.

I want to ask him questions. I will forget most of the things I think I want to say to him.

Still, as I told my mom when I was interviewing for a state park attendant job long ago, "Just being alive makes me nervous."

I wonder what I will do. I wonder what my interactions with others will be, people ... and everything else.

I just listened to some of the album Jolie Blonde. It's not too bad, mostly.

I will listen to Page and Plant's No Quarter then Grapefruit Clouds by Human Milk.

It seems strange that I saw Kim then Amy and her family in the past 2 weeks.

Why is all of this happening? How can I do this, and that?

 

I been drankin' coffee and half n half.

I took 3 Aleve at once about an hour ago.

My mother and I watched Hinterland series 2 episode 2 last night. 

Stuff feels so crazy

O well

I'll be you later

I love you

by bye