I just wrote a song kinda about Kelly. I had a really nice dream. A lot of family there. I hugged Carlyn in the driveway, she looked kinda young, exchanged words that seemed poignant, profound, maybe something about the afterlife. There were 2 precarious redwoods, or really big trees, in the front yard. A lot of mud. One was like covered in hard mud, with weird branches or uprooted roots. Doug thought he could climb it, but it fell and knocked over the other one. Pat and I followed Kelly, I did not want to seem creepy and desperate. She wanted to clean the kitchen, it wasn't as messy as she expected. I was sautéing yellow squash again, but the pan was full of water, I tried telling Kelly I wanted to fry them dry, so they'd get crispy, I think she understood.

Anyway, life has been so woerd

Weird.

I got so drunk Thursday, I lost my wallet. I tried on a yellow dress in Nordstroms, tried to look into other stalls under the doors, so dumb, embarrassing. I saw a girl's legs... I bought a pokemon card, different version of Mew, for 6 dollars, at Pokemaniacs... it was in the wallet I lot.... How could I keep drinking that bottle of vodka? I must be crazy, or alcoholic. I poured out the excess alcohol when I got home. On Sunday and Tuesday I drank most of the vodka I was saving. I wanted it to look like we have some in storage, or whatever I don't know how to explain it, i've been doing it a long time, refilled that bottle almost 10 times, so no one knows I drank....

So, Thursday, I went into a gas station, maybe to pee. I was so tired and foggy. I can barely remember. I could have killed people driving home. I lay on the bathroom floor for a while, I think they were suspicious and knocked and said something to me. I tried to gather myself and left.

I probably left everything in my unlocked car. I think maybe my wallet was taken. Who knows?

Interesting, my mom wants to go to the mall today. I dunno how I will feel. It is weird.

Gosh. Just going to Remembrance Gardens and Stacy's office was enough. I emailed Stacy, waited for her courtesy call. I was very excited about reconnecting with her. She emailed me Monday, maybe Sept/Oct she will have an opening for a new client. "opening" .. jesus. I will email or call in early Sept. Or, honestly, I will on September 1st.

Mom came home from Port Aransas on Saturday. I tried explaining where I went and stuff...

She called mall security for me, asked about my wallet.

I helped Tim and Kit fix his fence, Monday.

Tim paid me 200 dollars, makes up for the money in the wallet I lost, then a bit more.

I am going to Massage Revelation at 1 today. I am excited, I picked a different masseuse, probably I'll be more attracted to her. I am worried I'll get a boner. A part of me kinda wants to. A bad part of me. 

[I did. It did...]

I wanted to google 'beautiful long nipples', maybe click on a reddit link. It's erect now....

I should leave now.

Bye bye,

Love you,

Greg.