20191229_101159_nORMAL - - M4A 10.75 MB / 14:21

hello this is Greg. it's been a while since i recorded myself talking. sort of talking to my self and also i imagine someone who might care about me in the future will ... might find this and listen to all of it.

sorry it's slow and . . . like ethereal and unorganised, unplanned.

I started recording this because i wanted to write a journal. i wanted to type something. i wanted to ask,  What are your plans? and my answer is, I don't want any plans, or I want no plan, I don't want to have any plans, personally. Maybe everyone has a plan whether they think about it.

oh yeah, mom just left a few minutes ago to babysit while tim and chelsea go to see Knives Out.

I like how my voice is deep and rumbly. I've been coughing for a few days. My throat's sore and I felt like I had a fever the other day. I've been taking cold medicine and cough medicine. My sinus is fone i think. yeah my nose is fine. so i just stayed home. I'm glad mom didn't ask me to go with her.

I just started listening to Songs from the Bardo, again. It's one of my favourite things to listen to and think about. so many good songs, great songs, or not that many, just a few, ten, 15 really really good songs.....

uhm . .. i was reading Good Husbandry a little bit ago. I've read over a hundred pages in less than a week, which is a lot, way more than i've read in a long time. And uh, i feel kind of challenged by all the work that Kristin and Mark do. And I wanna give Aaron and Andee the copies of The Dirty Life and Good Husbandry. See what they think about Kristin and Mark and the Farm and the way of life. The Health and the Good Life. I also get annoyed sometimes with Kristin and Mark, like they try to do too much. It's too chaotic, and it's not a good way to do it. It's probably a better life than most people have, or much better life. But still they're too excited and ambitious and unreasonable, I guess.

When I started thinking about giving the books to Aaron, I started trying to think what he would think about it. They seem kind of ridiculous, but I think overall it's a really good thing, they're trying to give as many people a good diet as they can. I think having a 2nd child seems pretty crazy when they were already constantly working on the farm before they had their 1st child, and it seems like they're creating too many problems. No that the children are problems... children aren't problems, but the adults, the parents put them in awkward and meaningless and unproductive and unreasonable situations, so that nobody really has time to decide ( choose ) the best way to go about their lives. But, when I think these things, i think, Well, what's the point of living? And the way Kristin writes about it, it sounds like there are plenty of moments where she's able to really enjoy her life and all the hard work and suffering... I guess she doesn't... She suffers the suffering, but then she enjoys the ... food and the memories and the people... that grow living on the farm, living within the community of farmers and people who eat the farm.. eat the food . . .  haha [ : eat the farm. yep.

I'm pacing around a lot and I don't wanna do that. Um, anyway, so I might text Aaron today and ask him if I can come over tomorrow evening and give him the books, give them the books. I ate a couple, I ate one pig in a blanket, I think. I didn't feel that hungry, I had a cup of coffee with vanilla creamer. I wrote a little bit, I just added a couple lines to somethings I wrote yesterday. I pooed a little bit and it was really hard and there was a speck of blood on the toilet paper. Yesterday I made a bath with epsom salt, and I dipped my hand in while it was filling up and i drank a little water that had salts in it, because it's supposed to like make you poop. But it didn't seem like it did that much.

It's in the 50 degrees Fahrenheit. It's a little windy. I wanna listen to kNot by Big Thief... N. O. T.

I was thinking about Jojo Rabbit, how much I like it, everyone involved in it.

What else do I wanna say. I guess I'll just eat some...

Gonna listen to Dear Hank and John I think, or maybe I'll listen to Kristin Kimball. Yeah, I'm gonna search for some sort of audio interview of Kristin Kimball. That'll be nice. I've like, kind of fallen in love with her after watching the book readings on youtube. She's just extremely attractive [ laughing ] to me. hah, I really sounded weird when I laughed during saying attractive.

Oh uh, i think i'll stop recording this in a minute. Oh God, it's been 13 minutes. O yeah, 14 minutes is good.

It's not the energy reeling - not that long i was singing that song to myself and i was thinking, I could sing a really good cover of Not by Big Thief, it would sound, i could sound pretty similiar to Adrienne Lenker, who I also think is very attractive.

Anyway, I really like the titles, The Dirty Life and especially Good Husbandry. I think Aaron and Andee might appreciate the way Kristin thinks about marriage and the Good Life and yea... the way you have to make your own meaning and be the good that you want to see in the world, or something like that.

Anyway, uhh    love you. I'll talk to you soon.

So Forever

maybe something

Saturday, December 28, 2019

So Forever

%

i love Jesis

Jesus

is

my fren


Purrfect - Funki Porcini


on quora i read A WOman named Gayla  ,  june 1985 ,  the moon ,  journey

she sais
I take my Christianity seriously.


on christmas   Little   Women

wonderful  to  watch

so yeah


My ma and i saw Jojo Rabbit yesterday

it is really nice

we will bake a frozen lasagne in an hour or so


Xtal - Aphex Twin


I have read about 80 pages of Good Husbandy

it is good

i love it

i imagined going to essex and meeting the kimballs

would be very weird and good, i hope

 mom and i talked about going to new england, new york, montreal

maybe   halifax


i felt kind of bad last night and this morn

i have had a cough a couple days

felt like a fever


i wonder when i will see aaron next

and andee

i want to give them The Dirty Life and Good Husbandry , after I buy it.

if they don't want to keep them i'll takem back


hope i feel good soon

i drank some bourbon nog

probably an extra bad time to


something else


mom plans to babysit tomorrow

she said i don't have to go . . . if i don't feel better, feel like it, don't want to


i unno


huh


i wanted to sleep more

i looked at tyler nilson's instagram


mom has been talking to tiff for about 2 hours, i think


we went to H E B about noon


got junk    and  a few  good   items


pat, bridge, kit, and lorena are coming for new years eve


i am looking forward to the sunday paper and most of all C B S sunday morning


i am not forward looking to going to work with Jesse and Tim

it will be fine


i am just too lazy

unhealth

i wanna take a walk on the road

later

I

LOVE

YOU

so    forever

it is 10 16

i was up before dawn, like 5 or before. I kept looking at my phone and youtube and stuff in bed.

I been listening to Gong Gong Gong. I like them a lot.

Now is Night's Colour (Chongqing). very nice . . . .

I posted poems and nick offerman on facebook this morn

I just made black pepper bacon, 5 strips, 2 for mom

we should do yoga in a bit

i am in my 2nd cup of coffee and I had green tea and mixed a bit with this coffee

the bag still in mymug

the bacon is nice and good

Last night I drank a lot of bourbon, a bit in some eggnog

i watched the Good Husbandry book reading in Bear Pond, and i cried a bit, laughing a bit.

This morn i finished the reading in Norwich, with mark and miranda.

I commented on both videos.

The people and words and lives make me so happy

Perspectives

Rational

Relatable

Mom is reading A Christmas Carol again.

She slept late. Before dawn she put a tin of scotcheroos on the trash can. We saw em take it right after she got up.

I walked at dawn to the top of Graffiti Hill

i saw a Majestic deer cross the road and jump a fence. the dawn and fog and trees were majestic

i feel werid, because i did not sleep enough, and probably other things, coffee.

Mom just asked about yoga and i said i'll wait a minute

i paused the music

i'll eat some more bacon, maybe save a bit for after yoga.

i'll take a bath soon noonish

tired

ok pick you up later,  homie - it is 10 35


it is 14 53

mom and i cleaned house for about 2 hours

i drank some Svedka and grapefruit juice that mom juiced yesterday

still some in my cup

i just put on Haruomi Hosono. Now is Walking Vibration. It is really nice.


i want to read more of Good Husbandry.

i do not really know why i do not

maybe i mostly gave up on most things ,  thinks

maybe i let my will get weak

will to live well

care enough ,  correctly ,  choose ,  closer to God ,  creator ,  because i exist for a reason

Beyond

maybe i make my soul sick

let it slip

from this me

what ever i may be

...  hah,  weird ,  i dunno ,  enjoy your sself   i guess {":

.  .   .    .     happy or  some

.  .   .    .      of   us    . . . .    

Like a Family

O yes {: i just learned he did the music for Shoplifters.   good


i just ate picante beef ramen with turmeric and butter


mom and i plan to take a walk and make rum cake today


maybe pick up the trash in front of Javier's place


okay that is enough journal today.

Later,

god be with ye

i need to read

Hello,

I been up for like 30 minutes. I was having trouble going back to sleep. It is cold in this house. i slept for about 9 hours i guess i got up to pee maybe 3 times

momiswatchingGMA

it is 7 49 a m

I been listening to Adam Green Engine of Paradise . it is nice. Reasonable Man

I began to read Good Husbandry yesterday. i love it . . . i love her.

My family plans to see The Rise of Skywalker at 6 15 tonight.

Most of us plan to eat at Sap's before that.

I was lying in bed, not feeling good, and i thought of all the bad food, a lot of sugars and cakes, we will be making and eating for Christmas.

we treat ourselves badly

My body hurts a little. I helped Tim with a bunch of concrete and trench digging

i drank bourbon nog yesterday

after mom and i shopped

i felt good then okay then neither


I want to free write

or creative words expression expulsion


i am afraid of the only answer

Frontier Psychiatrist

Freeze My Love - Adam Green

No Such Thing as Boredom

hey how are you ?


i drank some rum nog and white wine with cranberry sprite


i am okay


i hear Spiegal im Spiegal now


I was listening to tim heidecker inspired spotify playlist


but i got tired of that kind stuff


Mom will go to help the school kids in about 30 minutes


I think I will drink more

wine maybe


maybe watch ASMRisAwesome

i got the password


  .   .   .    .


i plan to work with jesse and tim tomorrow at 9


mom said they forecast cold and rain

maybe we will not work then


i hope . .   .   some thing


no  thing is nothing

 anything is everything


even    thing





    How   Many    Words


    Together     Together


How many words together


Listen to Arvo Part

the first time       The Deer's Cry


Parvo   Art

Hi

mom has gone to get Popeye's. I almost went with, but then she asked and I decided to stay home.

I think we will watch   

                                           J e o p a r    d y

             and                      T a n n e r  ' 8 8       


i will    prob  bly  go to bed at about 8  again.

i love Tanner '88
 a  lot

watching episode 1 i told mom that i like how boring it is

maybe parts ,  but mostly fascinating

slow quiet thoughtful attentive intelligent emotional



the end

I like Mariel Ruiz a lot. She does weather on KVUE. She is very pretty and has a weird voice and wears neat clothes. I urge to touch myself when I see her.

I worked with Tim Monday thru Wednesday and Jesse yesterday. Tim had problems at his home. Mom bought us new boots. I don't want to tell anyone that my toes hurt.
I wonder if my nails will fall off . . . .

In about 40 minutes, I am going to the same job as yesterday. Hopefully Tim will be there the whole time I am.

I am looking forward to a day off. And a week off for Christmas.

Kit asked if I wanted to draft Magic tonight. I texted back a no.

I wanna get ready now.

Bye,

Love you

The Fuse of Time

I just had a mug of malbec


i tried to be quiet so mom knows not


a few hours ago i  tried to open the brandy . the cap cut my finger .  i gave up


i just started listening to Fresh Blood and Piano , McCarthy Trenching


it's nice ,  it hink


i feel  wash  ted

dunk   tha   trunk


i ate gruyere au gratin Potatoes.  Pretty really good tastes


i saw two kids on bikes on the street ,  and 1 adult


-   i did not sleep much last night. I watcht badness on line lyin' on my bed

my eyes hurt when i look too far to the side or up or down


head aches

i drank a lot of brandy rite after mom and sofie left for austin yesterday

i drank wine and rum and eggnog after mom got home


i want to eat more food

i like Picking at Scabs

reminds me of Cribshitter ,  jellyshoes  and the rest


i wonder what i will do until i go to bed about 9


i wonder what i wanna do


i wanna do something else


sofie spent the night before last

it went all rite


i go to work with tim tomorrow morn

i hope i feel okay

i need to return sofie's carseat

i look forward to going to their house about 7 tomorrow

i can help People

just by driving

good enuff

far enuff

the end.

Theorhetical Love Song


i love