I'm just lying in my bed, rubbing my tears,

Saying Everything is so perfect, 

Stop thinking everything is perfect....

 Saturday, September 16, 2023

Time to Write about People

 I woke up a few minutes ago. Tis 6:15. I'm pooping in a toilet. I am in my mother's house. I had nice dreams I barely remember, but I feel hope.

I thought more about my DWI. I'll be okay. I don't really care. I should be punished. I would watch Barbie again. I could live eternally...

 I think i've given up trying and wanting to understand people

It's like if you can't beat them join them

Maybe I'll just try to be a person among people

Since I was pretty young i've had a superiority complex

I think that if I just think harder, i can figure out how to live better than anyone , period 

....yes, that.

My point is that I am so anxious

I keep falling into the whole of alcohol in my brain

And I am so alone Alone is always a good thing and good time

I think my biological clock is exploding

I just sent 2 messages to 2 women on a website called ass talk

Tok , not talk

[I've since canceled my acct, because I sent about 7 messages to 7 women and a day went by with out reply.]

You know how difficult This is.

[ Later on Today, Labor day and Barrett's bday, Anna called after I texted her. We met at the pool. It was beautiful. Being together and learning. As we said good bye I asked if I can peck her lips. I did. It is high light of life. I believe we are romantically together till one of us dies, and after.

[ September fourth. I drank most of a magnum of white wine. I called Chicken House and asked about getting a date or something. I was kinda laughing, hysterical. I drove drunk and got 1000 dollars at a ufcu atm. I drove way too fast. I wanted to drive thru McDonald's in San Angelo after midnight. In the parking lot I got arrested for drunk driving. It still almost seems unreal. A strange night in jail. I felt really bad for Tim, mom and Chelsea.

The landscape was a bit surprising, dramatic, tall and beautiful. I got really thirsty.

I texted mom, Home safe, took a nap. I went back to work the next day.

]