Good  morning, it is 7:24. I was awake most of the night. Porn, unforntunately. I don't know why I edge so much. It feels sad to me. I feel sad about this. But my mind is overwhelmed, overtaken... the lesbian sex in Blue is the warmest colour... too much.

Okay. I must move on. The sun is moving up. I am proud of C61 BHH. Even though it turned into my stream of consciousness, with no story or characters. Maybe it is better this way. Maybe i don't want to write a formal story, or anything longer than a page. Maybe that is waste of everyone's time. maybe.

I posted it to facebook. You will know me. If we try at least a little, everyone will know everyone eventually.

I am not sure what i mean. Just that we are eternal. Our souls can grow and know everything we want to know. Almost everything. I do not know if we can be one with God, all-knowing. 

Anyway, this is not a diary, just musings on truth, self, philosophy, theology... i guess.

So. I let hank out and fed him breakfast. I made myself coffee, newman's own k-cup, with heavy cream from HEB.

I played MTGO with my bros. saturday night. it was okay. kind of fun to talk online. Unusual. But too much Magic of course.

And ...

My mom just got up, out of her room. That's okay. I feel more awake, less sleepy now. ~ Rain is a Mystery ~

She puts on CNN or ABC, or other worthless shit.. hah  (: People get sick in texas. Hospitals are undersupported to help as many people as properly as they should

It is all going to end...

Well, maybe, probably. Something will happen. Everyone dies. Take more pills again.

When I typed " And ... ", about 6 lines ago, I was saying that, I keep drinking too much. I am close to finishing the 1.5 liter bottle of Kirkland Irish country cream... We got it Friday. In about 2 days. 2 days can be a very long time. Forever, actually.

Monday morning is my favourite time, as you can tell. -That is maybe why I do this.- Mostly just when I have no job and few obligations.

I gotta shit soon. the coffee. Happiness. Feeling. Disappointment. Meaning.

I love writing so much. Maybe i am a writer. I am if I write. I makes me feel real. It can be scary and difficult.

I am always learning so much, but rarely retaining and growing inwardly eternally...

I think we will vacuum today. I should probably nap soon. My head feeels heavy.

Talk to you later,

Love, Grg

PS

 it is 7:59. CBS morning shows are okay. Sunday Morning is one of my favourite things. I made me almost cry a few times yesterday.

I love watching and/or listening to Dodger/Brooke Thorne. Her soul, her life, voice, face, family, love

so.

I read about 4/5ths of the 1st chapter of Four Fifths a Grizzly. it's pretty nice

i love reading so much

make me feel okay, everything okay ....

Later again -

PSS

Mom and I saw Richard the Third at Winedale yesterafternoon. It was really good. It's 10:47.