Confessions

 

maybe something

Tuesday, August 17, 2021

   i am obsessed with J K , km's daughter

she is lovely

on their instagrams

i am afraid of her . . . ,  [number] i think...  i worry about myself

i worry i will keep getting worse

like a cliche , a dirty sad old man , but man seems too good a word

So, what should I do.

maybe I need a girl friend, lady friend, special friend, wife , spouse , partner . . .

I imagine every so often

I imagine renting a mountain cabin near vegas

A prostitute is my best bet

prostitutes need love too

i would love to marry one, even as she keeps working

it makes me horny too...

this is very confessional

i want a book to be printed. Like saint Augustine's Confessions ,  written by me , about me

my self... soul, relationship with jesus and the trinity

i feel that i could not feel this any more, any deeper

this connection

to myself.

It is like Pain. But also Heaven, and sometimes Hell. Like Perfect Absolute Divine Judgment

I feel light. Like caffeine

I forgot that i took an excedrin

Then I drank half a cuppa

coffee.

I really like myself.

Sometimes i hate myself more than anything

i think i am like Steppenwolf

Self- obsessed   bourgeoisie

Resource Leech

Tick

Sponge

Parasite

Infection

Death - Collector

Hell - Baby

What is the worst case Scenario

How do i help people

The most people i can help ?

I wanna publish this, except censor the damning first confession ... 

Later I love you.

 Good  morning, it is 7:24. I was awake most of the night. Porn, unforntunately. I don't know why I edge so much. It feels sad to me. I feel sad about this. But my mind is overwhelmed, overtaken... the lesbian sex in Blue is the warmest colour... too much.

Okay. I must move on. The sun is moving up. I am proud of C61 BHH. Even though it turned into my stream of consciousness, with no story or characters. Maybe it is better this way. Maybe i don't want to write a formal story, or anything longer than a page. Maybe that is waste of everyone's time. maybe.

I posted it to facebook. You will know me. If we try at least a little, everyone will know everyone eventually.

I am not sure what i mean. Just that we are eternal. Our souls can grow and know everything we want to know. Almost everything. I do not know if we can be one with God, all-knowing. 

Anyway, this is not a diary, just musings on truth, self, philosophy, theology... i guess.

So. I let hank out and fed him breakfast. I made myself coffee, newman's own k-cup, with heavy cream from HEB.

I played MTGO with my bros. saturday night. it was okay. kind of fun to talk online. Unusual. But too much Magic of course.

And ...

My mom just got up, out of her room. That's okay. I feel more awake, less sleepy now. ~ Rain is a Mystery ~

She puts on CNN or ABC, or other worthless shit.. hah  (: People get sick in texas. Hospitals are undersupported to help as many people as properly as they should

It is all going to end...

Well, maybe, probably. Something will happen. Everyone dies. Take more pills again.

When I typed " And ... ", about 6 lines ago, I was saying that, I keep drinking too much. I am close to finishing the 1.5 liter bottle of Kirkland Irish country cream... We got it Friday. In about 2 days. 2 days can be a very long time. Forever, actually.

Monday morning is my favourite time, as you can tell. -That is maybe why I do this.- Mostly just when I have no job and few obligations.

I gotta shit soon. the coffee. Happiness. Feeling. Disappointment. Meaning.

I love writing so much. Maybe i am a writer. I am if I write. I makes me feel real. It can be scary and difficult.

I am always learning so much, but rarely retaining and growing inwardly eternally...

I think we will vacuum today. I should probably nap soon. My head feeels heavy.

Talk to you later,

Love, Grg

PS

 it is 7:59. CBS morning shows are okay. Sunday Morning is one of my favourite things. I made me almost cry a few times yesterday.

I love watching and/or listening to Dodger/Brooke Thorne. Her soul, her life, voice, face, family, love

so.

I read about 4/5ths of the 1st chapter of Four Fifths a Grizzly. it's pretty nice

i love reading so much

make me feel okay, everything okay ....

Later again -

PSS

Mom and I saw Richard the Third at Winedale yesterafternoon. It was really good. It's 10:47.

Accidentall Diaries

 

maybe something

Saturday, August 14, 2021

 I feel weird. Like I cannot sleep with Internet

( tiktokthots ,  sorry)

I am crying

Sleepiness makes me extra emotional

It is so okay

sexy ,. No meaning

If just I had 2 hundred thousand dollars , all or nothing lotto

I can rent a room, an efficiency, I can live here like 10 years without having to do anything . . . .

I ... do not know.

I want my other brothers to see Efficiency. I think it is really good. I'll text kit and Tim the trailer.

I am good.

My mom and I finished Princess Kaguya yesterday.

I need to add it to my favourite movies list.....

Yes.

I love you

So, fuckinmuch.

Looks German

Gregory at 2:29 AM

No comments:

Post a Comment

‹

›

Home

View web version

About Me

GregoryView my complete profile

Powered by Blogger.

oh well . . . .

 I made a porno.

i had on a condom and mostly erection

i whisper about stuff i'm thinking

i posted it to xvideos a couple days ago

kinda scary

maybe i should delete it.

i spent a few minutes this morning filling in my profile, i linked to this blog [ maybesomething ] as 'my website'

oh well. be you

bye.

as i was driving to the farmer's market, i was horny of course, and i thought, I have so hypersexualized myself, that it kinda hurts.

kinda sucks, a  lot

.

not much is good for me.

maybe the galveston trip was bad overall

i want to publish this last journal part on Goodenoughtoknow, oldergregblog

I have lost a bit a of weight

and i am waking up early every day.

i dunno.

The lack of sleep (from porn and edging.. and cumming)

makes me a little loopy and fun feeling,

plus i always drink too much

more than just a little is too much...

later love you